Table of contents:
- Things to know before you start
- How to achieve your goals
- What can prevent you from achieving what you want
2023 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-07-28 10:38
All you need is a good plan and courage.
Things to know before you start
1. There are things that cannot be achieved or simply do not need to be achieved. To become a rock star, to marry a famous football player, to drive through the whole city at night to buy that very ice cream is much more pleasant to imagine than to experience in reality.
2. Sometimes the desires are not really yours, but you are not aware of it. For example, you think you want to be a successful lawyer, but in reality you need your father to be proud of you. Or you dream of becoming a hermit and do not suspect that you really just want to be away from your obnoxious boss.
3. Achieving your goal will not provide you with the satisfaction you expect. When your dream comes true, you will not feel as much joy as you dreamed of. We tend to overestimate both the amount and the duration of the happiness from the fulfillment of desires, so be prepared.
Before you rush into battle for your dreams, consider this. Otherwise, it may turn out that you have wasted several years, or even half of your life.
How to achieve your goals
Determine what you really want
Often we don't even have a clue what we want. Many of our desires are born from dissatisfaction and sound like: "I don't know what I want, but definitely not this." Be specific.
Do you really want to work for yourself or are you just tired of your job? Do you really need or dream of becoming healthy and energetic?
You must understand exactly what you want. Imagine in detail that you have already achieved what you want, evaluate not only the pros, but also the cons - they are always there. How do you feel about it?
Eliminate conflicting desires
“I want to be in good shape. I also hate doing sports."
Often a new goal remains unfulfilled because you have an opposite desire that contradicts it. Take fitness and a sedentary lifestyle, for example. Being passive and not playing sports is also your desire. It comes from the desire to avoid discomfort and interferes with the fulfillment of a new desire - to get in shape.
All the opposite desires are caused by the unwillingness to leave the comfort zone and the fear of the unknown: training, a new job or a hobby.
Think about what needs to be done to achieve the goal. Check if you have any desire not to do it.
Find out how other people have achieved what you are striving for
It is unlikely that you want to achieve something that no one else has succeeded in before. Use someone else's experience to achieve your goals. Just find people on the internet who have already done it: made a lot of money, ran a marathon, won a competition in any sport, or learned three languages.
If the person has written an autobiography or a book with advice - use them, if not - try to contact and ask for advice directly. Just send an email asking for help. Chances are, you will receive valuable tips and caveats to help you get what you want faster.
Make the best plan
From the advice given to you, make a simple plan. Imagine how you would achieve what you want if you were not afraid of anything and had incredible willpower.
Now watch as the fearful part of your consciousness tries to change this plan, to make it less painful. Now you see your opposite desire - to avoid discomfort.
If you try to modify the original plan so that there is no discomfort at all, then the desire to avoid difficulties is about to win. The further your plan strays from the original, the less likely you are to actually reach your goal.
Resist the urge to avoid the unknown and the discomfort.
Amend the plan if necessary
So you have a plan. And you started to move according to it. If you are progressing, then there is no problem, keep going. If not, ask yourself four questions:
- Am I following the plan? If not, then start following.
- Is there a small part of the plan that needs to be changed? If there is, change it.
- Do I need a different plan given everything I now know? If so, develop a tactic that suits your current situation.
- Do I think that my goal is unattainable or do not need me? If so, quit and do something else.
As a rule, all the difficulties and problems that you meet on your way have already been experienced by other people. Google it.
If your plan doesn't work, make adjustments or change it. If your goal no longer seems attractive to you, give it up.
What can prevent you from achieving what you want
Other people's desires
Family and friends wish you happiness, but they may not approve of the path chosen to achieve it. They may think that your desire will bring you nothing but suffering.
In addition, your goals may conflict with what your loved ones want. For example, your parents wish you were always there and not in danger. Of course, they will be against your move, dangerous travel or extreme hobby. Consider this and do not expect all-round support from others.
Your back desires
The real reason for all failure is the desire for predictability and comfort. This is a real invisible fence that keeps us from achieving our goals.
Each of us is capable of incredible things. The more unusual the desire, the more we simultaneously want not to achieve it, remaining in the comfort zone.
We are fearful creatures who want by all means to maintain the usual order of things, no matter how dull and rotten it is. We have an excuse: this quality is essential for the survival of the species. But sometimes it really gets in our way.
When you accept the fact that fear and uncertainty accompany you in any worthwhile attempt, it becomes a little easier. Not easier, but easier.
You have decided what you want. Do this. If you are unsure of what to do, the next step is to find out.
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