8 ways to overcome your perfectionism

Danny Gregory in Make Him Silence calls the inner voice a monkey. She makes us strive for perfection in everything: from an important project to the placement of purchases in the cart. While you are trying to achieve perfection where it is not needed, “imperfect” colleagues, friends, acquaintances climb to the heights where you should be, and manage to conquer new ones. Here are some tips on how to silence your monkey.

1. Replace “perfect” with “good enough”

Reconsider your abilities and priorities in terms of the real state of affairs, not your dreams. In most cases, “good enough” is “perfect”. When you have a distorted value system and are obsessed with small things, getting the job done is much more difficult.

2. Find the flaws in Mona Lisa

This exercise helps you understand that nothing is perfect in the world. Look at the world masterpiece of Leonardo da Vinci and find one or two flaws. More is possible.;) Even the greats are imperfect, to say nothing of ordinary people. Remember this every time you try to perfect a project or polish the floor.

3. Put a full stop instead of a comma

If an idea comes up, the monkey does not leave you alone, day or night. She dissects your design with the enthusiasm of a naturalist.

Here it would be necessary to tighten, and here to develop the idea. Remove one, add another. Or maybe you have a better idea?

Endless inner monologue

You can never complete a task, you are never satisfied with the result. With such a monkey you need to fight mercilessly: just put an end to it. For example, in a novel that you just can't finish.

4. Don't let the horse die

The monkey's words may seem like a hidden truth that only you and her know about. It seems that she knows you better than anyone else in the world (warts, pimples, pockmarks and all that), and you have the feeling that you are standing naked, and your figure is far from a model. You are sure that the monkey's criticism is the truth. But in fact, this is even a more subjective opinion than, for example, the opinion of your girlfriend. The monkey knows your pain points and hits right on target.

Where ideal is, there is no life.

A person with perfect appearance does not exist, so you should know: the monkey is lying when he calls to lose extra pounds or criticizes your skin tone. Don't try to be perfect, live in the here and now, not in the future.

5. Just get started

Looping over the ideal prevents you from taking the first step. You buy a bunch of brushes and paints before you start painting. You are waiting for a convenient moment - silence, inspiration, a day off - to write.

The paradox: when the seemingly ideal moment arrives, something happens again. Guests come or you are invited to visit. The secret is that the perfect moment simply does not exist, so start doing something right now and let it not be perfect. To spite your monkey!

6. Don't think about the end result

Life is not a route from point A to point B. Only when planning a trip can you endlessly picture in your imagination the place where you are heading - whether it be heavenly beaches or snow-capped mountains.

When you plan the result of your work, a template arises in your head, from which it is difficult to move away (“you need to write a book, necessarily in three volumes”). Accidents knock you down (you are offered to write a comic book, but you refuse, because "this is not it"). The universe presents surprises that make our life more interesting, do not be afraid of them! The ideal is something unnatural. Something inanimate and motionless.

7. Call a spade a spade

You can put it off because you do not have a pen, or paper, or a topic, or a teacher, or time … You are busy looking for materials for creativity or the necessary acquaintances. You get the impression that you are engaged in vigorous activity, although this is not so.

Overpower yourself. We all do nonsense every day. Accept this fact and it becomes easier. Separate the semblance of activity from real action.

8. Remember the story of Vermeer

In moments of special talkativeness of your perfectionist monkey, remember the story of Vermeer and the girl Rosemary, who was asked at the art school to make a copy of the work of one of the old masters.

I chose Vermeer. Because I love Vermeer. Needless to say, while painting, I was terribly tormented. I could not get my painting to look like Vermeer's painting and was very disappointed. I was so discouraged that, instead of working with a vengeance, I stopped writing altogether. I can't write like Vermeer!

Only years later, when I returned to painting, I was stunned by a simple thought: no one could paint like Vermeer! Even his contemporaries. That is why he is great. Now I am giving master classes for aspiring artists and telling them this story. I remind them that the most they can do is to give their best on this particular day. Do not expect that your work will look like the creation of a master who has devoted many years to painting. I allow their work not to be perfect, and they understand what I'm talking about!

Look into your monkey's face. How nasty she is, right? It's amazing that this far from ideal creature teaches you perfection. Don't give her a voice, and then your confidence, and with it your productivity, will surely creep up.