29 proven tips for those tired of living the old way

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

We constantly talk about how cool it would be to change your life, find a calling, make your dreams come true. And we’re all going to start changing, but we don’t do anything. We often lack motivation or a good kick. But I know a person who managed to cope with himself …

Larisa Parfentieva, my good friend and colleague at the publishing house "MYTH", wrote the book "100 Ways to Change Life" about how to achieve more, become happier and realize the strength that we have inside. The floor is given to Larisa.

History

From the age of 7 I dreamed of becoming a writer, but even at school I was convinced that “a writer is not a profession”. And I went into journalism. After graduating from the Faculty of Journalism of Moscow State University, I worked for various media, hosted my own program, collaborated with Ksenia Sobchak. But one day I discovered that I was not living my life. By this time, I was so depressed that I gained 30 extra pounds.

In the end, I quit my prestigious job, returned from Moscow to my hometown, Ufa, and realized that it was time for a dream.

I got into "MYTH", lost weight, figured out myself, spoke at TEDx, began to help people. For several years I have read 1,000 books on self-development, remembered everyone with whom I communicated during my work in the media: heroes, stars, businessmen - and this is more than 10,000 people - and created the book “100 Ways to Change Your Life”. It contains the most efficient tools for starting a new life. And in this article - a list of what you need to remember for those who are tired of living the old way.

Okay, so what to do?

1. Inspiration or Despair? Writer and business coach Jim Rohn said there are only two reasons for change: inspiration or despair. If you do not follow the inspiration, then you will surely be overwhelmed by despair. The question is whether you will wait for it.

2. "Ok, I'm already at the bottom." Congratulations! Make a solid foundation out of the bottom that you can stand on.

3. Start with any small action: exercise, meditate, read books in the morning, or at least make your bed.

One guy decided to overcome his "action paralysis" and began to thoroughly brush his teeth in the morning and evening. By the time he made this decision, his life had already reached the bottom: a ruined business and a ruined family.

Sounds strange, but it's true: brushing your teeth gave the initial kick. Soon, running in the morning appeared, and then the right environment. As a result, our hero opened his own startup, which is now successfully developing.

One little disciplining action can change everything.

4. For those who are overwhelmingly discouraged, you can start with an impulse. Anything that can stir you up and make you feel the taste of life can become an impulse: jumping with a parachute, performing in front of an audience, climbing a mountain. You can go through the "Hell Week", which is proposed by Erik Bertrand Larssen (Erik Bertrand Larssen). The momentum will give you the energy to take your first steps.

5."Can you do something less radical?" Read a lot. If you read one book a week, then in a year you will read more than 50 books. This is enough to make a giant leap forward. Before writing 100 Ways to Change Your Life, I read over 1,000 books on self-development. Drop by drop, books change thinking completely.

6. The best thing you can do is find "your pack." I will not give strange metaphors and parables about the importance of the environment, but finding “your flock” is half the battle.

7. Everyone says that you need to look for your favorite business. I don't like this term. The vocation does not always consist of what you love. It often grows out of a problem that a person wants to solve.

For example, the publishing house "MYTH" and appeared: 11 years ago, the founding fathers realized that no one publishes really good books. Thousands of people read MIF products today.

Sara Blakely, who became the youngest billionaire in 2012, started her shapewear company because she couldn't find good tights. Another girl solved her problems by losing 60 kg and found her calling by helping others.

I call all this a Level 80 Obsession. So don't think about your "favorite business". Look for obsession.

8. Think about what product, service, thing you would like to use? What problems could you solve and help people? What kind of people do you admire (or maybe you envy them a little in an amicable way)? What would you do if you knew exactly what you would do?

9. If you find something you like, just get started. If you decide to become a writer, write the first chapter. Then another and another. Then a book. Most likely, if this is the first book, then it will have to be thrown away. Do it all over again and it will be much better.

10. Nobody knows how he came to where he came. Everyone talks about goals and their achievement, but in fact, at the beginning of the path, it is completely impossible to calculate it. The only thing that remains is to believe and dream. When Bill Gates was asked how he feels after crossing the finish line, he replied: "If I knew where the finish line is, I would have crossed it long ago."

11. "Black swans" are flying near us. This is the theory of the scientist Nassim Taleb, according to which all the key events in life happen unplanned. Many admit that chance circumstances determined their success. For example, a chance meeting with an investor in an elevator. Or a secretary who stayed late at work because she was preparing for a date, and suddenly received a call from a large client. Our path is a "black swan". All we have to do is work hard and believe that he will lead us where we need to.

12. "How many hours does it take to be noticed?" It takes 20 hours for you to start doing something tolerable. 100 hours - and you will no longer be ashamed. 1,000 hours - you are at the level of a good average. 3,000 - you will be considered a professional. 5,000 - you can make good money on this business. Famous 10,000 hours - and you will be recognized by the whole world.

13. There are four levels of implementation:

1. The makings.
2. Capabilities.
3. Talent.
4. Genius.

Labor transforms inclinations into abilities, then into talent, and later into genius. Pick any area and water it with labor. Eventually you will become a genius at this.

The famous chess player Judit Polgár was once asked: “Could you be that good at something other than chess? Maybe in mathematics? " She replied, "If I spent as much time on this as I did on chess, I might be great in almost everything."

14. Obsession works like a bonfire. You start to burn, and then other people, opportunities, resources flock to this warmth. You feed on your obsession and it makes you bigger. And you become visible. And then money and fame come to you.

15. At the beginning of their careers, everyone is engaged in imitation. This is fine. Ray Bradbury admitted that he wrote 3 million words in 8 years before finding his voice. Repeat after others, and then you will hear your own voice.

16. “What if you don’t make money on what I’m doing?” I love Kelly Ellsworth's The Green Blob. It is very easy to describe it. It's … a green blot, oddly enough. Just. Green. Blot. The painting was sold for $ 1.6 million.

When I look at "Blot", it inspires me a lot, because it reminds me that you can make money on everything that you do truly and from the heart. Even if this "real" is not understood by the majority of the inhabitants of the planet.

17. “I've been writing / painting / doing business for a year now, and still haven't made my million!” It is sad.

18. There are two ways to deal with your unloved work:

1. Radical is when you drop it immediately. It only works for those who are motivated by the burning tail. It worked for me, but not for my friend. He quit his job at the tax office, then worked in pizza delivery for a year, but eventually returned to the tax office and was unhappy again.
2. The best way is to combine. Motivational writer Barbara Sher worked as a waitress for seven years as a single mother and wrote a book. Albert Einstein was a patent clerk, and in his free time he was engaged in science. None of them complained about the lack of time. Get up an hour early. Don't use social media. What's more important: your dream or a new message?

19. The emotional cycle of change has five stages and is similar to a sinusoid:

1. Unreasonable optimism.
2. Informed pessimism.
3. A moment of despair (low point of a sinusoid).
4. Informed optimism.
5. Success and self-realization.

If you can pull yourself out in a “moment of despair,” you can accomplish anything.

20. Murphy's Law states:

If something can go wrong, it will definitely go wrong.

Over the past three years, I have launched 10 projects. Seven of them failed, three were successful. In the end, those who can pass the greatest amount of pain and uncertainty win.

21. "And nobody believes in me!" It does not matter. The main thing is not to stop. The laws of physics, unlike the laws of metaphysics, are merciless: if you work hard, you will succeed anyway.

22. "Experts say I can't do it." The director of one of the theaters called Faina Ranevskaya "a complete mediocrity", and Walt Disney was fired from the newspaper due to "lack of imagination." That's all you need to know about “expert opinion”.

23. "My girlfriend doesn't like what I do." If you are not selling drugs or people, then I would suggest changing your girlfriend. If your loved ones do not understand you, if experts do not recognize you, if no one believes in you, do not waste energy on resentment. You have no idea how much resources you spend on charges. Spit on them. Take your energy from resentment and spend it on achieving a goal.

24. If you are scared, imagine yourself as a firefighter. When he enters a burning building, he is also scared. But his fear goes away as soon as he is inside, because you have to do your job, save people. Take action and you will have no time for fear.

25. Some give up what they started halfway because they end up in a "pit". For example, you start learning to paint. You very quickly become a pretty passable artist, you get praised. You start to practice even harder and at some point you will definitely fall into a "hole" - this is a state when you have already ceased to be perceived as a talented beginner, but at the same time you are still not up to the level of a pro.

It is important to continue to work hard, and then you will reach a qualitatively new level. Remember: the darkest night is before dawn.

26. You cannot become who you want, remaining who you are. You will definitely have to make a choice. Recently, a friend of mine who desperately wants to lose weight and constantly talks about it, began to eat bread with mayonnaise at midnight. I asked: "What do you want more: bread or lose weight?" She answered honestly: "Bread." If you choose “bread” every time, then perhaps you should not worry that you do not have what you want.

27."What if I fail?" Maybe it won't work. But in any case, any action increases the chances of success.

28. New things are invented by those who, like a child, never cease to be amazed. Change the scenery, move, explore!

29. If you cannot make a choice, then you have already made the decision to leave everything as it is.

A complete guide to change can be found in the book.