How not to ruin a relationship during the coronavirus epidemic

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Here are some tips to help you survive the quarantine and not kill each other.

In China, the number of divorces has skyrocketed during the COVID-19 epidemic. Stress, fear for your life and the need to lock yourself in with your family within four walls can shake and even destroy a relationship, especially if the couple already had problems. Let's figure out why this is happening and how to avoid it.

Why maintaining a relationship during quarantine can be difficult

1. You are locked together in a confined space

Even those whom we love madly begin to enrage if we sit with them in the same small apartment for a couple of weeks. However, two weeks is still optimistic, usually irritation begins to build up much earlier and eventually spills over into minor skirmishes and full-scale hostilities. Especially if, before quarantine, you both led a busy life and met only in the evenings.

Being in a confined space is a very difficult ordeal, and here's why.

• Old grievances may emerge and aggravate, or reasons for new ones may appear.
• Household questions also add fuel to the fire: "You have a bunch of dirty cups on your table again!"
• You may find that the habits and characteristics of your partner that did not bother you before, now, when you contemplate them every minute, are brought to shaking: the way he clicks the button of the automatic handle, when he thinks, how he grumbles, slams the doors of the lockers, how he shuffles his household slippers.

And these feelings - irritation, powerlessness, anger - do not mean at all that you do not love each other. It's just that any person needs space, and if you deprive him of this, he looks at the world through a dark prism and shows qualities that he himself is not very happy with.

2. You are scared

People on social media joke that 2020, with all its illnesses, disasters and economic problems, will not save anything. But irony, of course, hides fatigue, fear and uncertainty. The situation, no matter how you look at it, is very alarming, and what will happen next is completely incomprehensible.

When stressed, it can be difficult to stay calm, be patient, and demonstrate diplomatic skills. Therefore, we swear in such an environment much more often than usual.

3. The usual order of life is violated

You are used to going out for a run, then take a shower, pack up and go to the office. On the way, go to your favorite coffee shop for your favorite latte. In the office, you were sitting in a comfortable chair at a large table and any issue could be promptly resolved together with your colleagues. After work, the child was taken from the kindergarten, taken to the sports section. And while he was studying, they calmly read the book.

And now this whole well-oiled mechanism has stopped working, albeit temporarily. And you need to organize all your affairs and relationships with loved ones in a new way. And this is difficult, very confusing, can seriously upset or even anger.

How to avoid conflicts

This is what psychologists advise.

1. Establish a new daily routine

The correct regime and a clear distribution of tasks for all family members will help smooth out sharp corners and avoid conflict situations. You can make a schedule according to which each of you will work, do household chores, take care of the child, take time for yourself.

For example, one plays with a baby so that he does not interfere with the second to communicate with colleagues via video communication, and then the partners change. And you can play sports or clean the house together.

2. Create a personal space for yourself

If you have a large apartment, where everyone has their own room, there will be no special problems with this: you just need to close the door and sit in seclusion. When the living space does not allow this, you can try to zone the room with curtains, screens and furniture. Or at least disperse in different corners, put on noise-canceling headphones and agree that you should not be temporarily touched.

You can also go for a walk to some deserted place one by one. Or at least get in your car and just drive around the area a little. Even in an ordinary setting, a person needs to regularly spend time alone with himself: solitude restores strength, helps to streamline emotions and thoughts. And in a stressful situation, you can't do without personal space.

3. Make each other happy

Yes, during quarantine you won't be able to go to a restaurant, to a concert or to a movie, sign up for a quiz or invite guests. But there are also home entertainment.

You can play board games or a pair game on a console. You can order food, light candles and have a romantic dinner. You can massage each other with oils and take a bath together. In the end, if you do not want to invent anything, no one has canceled films and series either. And positive emotions and impressions will help brighten up a difficult period at least a little.

4. Talk about your feelings

Do not accumulate resentment and irritation, otherwise they will still burst out in the form of shouts, claims, insults and swearing. If something makes you angry, worried, sad - talk about it right away.

Just don't attack your partner, don't blame him. Use "I-messages", suggest a solution to the situation:

• “I’m angry about these dirty dishes, let's make a schedule and wash them one by one.”
• “I really need to be alone, but we have very little space. Do you mind if I borrow the bathroom for an hour and a half?"
• "I am very tired of all this, please have pity on me."

Be prepared to listen to and reassure your partner as well. After all, he probably also has accumulated negative emotions and he wants to discuss them.

5. Take care of yourself

Think about things and activities that will help you stabilize internally and feel better. Tea with chocolate, sports, meditation, warm bath, journaling, creativity and handicrafts. Make a personal list of these things to do and try to make time for them every day. Invite your half to do something similar too.

6. Remember this is not forever

Epidemics end sooner or later, quarantine is also not eternal. And even if the situation now seems rather gloomy, after a while it will remain only in your memories.

And these memories can be joyful and light - if you have a little patience and will be more attentive and kind to yourself and your loved ones.

Coronavirus. Number of infected:

243 239 813

in the world

8 131 164

in Russia View map