Why the best in life obeys the law of the inverted curve

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

There is an inverse relationship between effort and reward, and this affects major aspects of our lives.

Future special forces of the US Navy are being tested for survival in the water. Their hands and feet are tied and thrown into a pool with a depth of 2, 7 meters. Their task is to hold out for five minutes. Most of the cadets can't stand it. Some, once in the water, panic and ask to return them to land. Others struggle to stay afloat but pass out. Those who understand two paradoxical truths cope.

First, the harder you try to keep your head above the water, the more likely you are to sink. With hands and feet tied, it’s impossible to stay afloat for five minutes. To pass this test, you need to sink to the bottom. Then gently push off and give your body an impulse to lift you back up. There you will breathe in some air. And this process has to be repeated over and over again.

This does not require superhuman strength or. You don't even need to know how to swim. On the contrary, you should not swim. Instead of resisting physical forces that would normally kill you, you need to surrender to them - and so save your life.

Secondly, the more you panic, the more oxygen you spend. Accordingly, the likelihood of losing consciousness and drowning is higher. This test turns the survival instinct against the participants themselves. The stronger the desire to breathe, the less the opportunity. The stronger the desire to live, the higher the chance of dying.

It is not the physical skills of the cadets that are tested, but their ability to control emotions in dangerous situations. The test shows whether the participant can restrain impulses, relax in the face of possible death, whether he will risk his life for the sake of serving a high goal. These skills are more important than swimming, stamina and ambition. They are more important than what school the cadet went to and how good he looks in a brand new suit.

This skill - giving up control when you want to control the situation the most - is one of the most important in life.

Everyone needs it, not just the elite special forces. We are used to thinking that the relationship between effort and results is linear. That by working twice as long, we will get twice the results. That twice as loudly shouting our opinion, we will become twice to the right.

This almost never happens. Linear relationships are typical only for automatic repetitive tasks - driving, filling out paperwork, cleaning. In this case, in two hours you will get twice as many results as in one hour. But most of the actions in life are more difficult. They require adaptation, originality, mental and emotional costs. They are characterized by a curve of diminishing returns.

The more often you accumulate or experience something, the less satisfying it is. Money is a classic example. The difference in salary between 20,000 and 40,000 rubles is huge, it changes the way of life. The difference between 120,000 and 140,000 rubles only means that you now have more comfortable seat heaters in your car. The difference between 127,020,000 and 127,040,000 rubles is an error when filling out a tax return.

The same thing happens with friendship. Having one friend is extremely important. Two friends are clearly better than one. But adding a tenth friend will change little in your life. And when there are 20 of them, it's only harder for you to remember the names.

The concept of diminishing returns applies to almost all new experiences. For example, how many times a year do you visit your parents in another city? These experiences seem very valuable at first. But the more often you experience them, the more their value decreases to you (sorry Mom).

The same can be said for sex, eating, sleeping, drinking alcohol and caffeine, exercising, reading, resting, masturbating,. All of these activities have diminishing returns. The more often you do one of these, the less you get back. They are described by the third type of curve - the inverted curve.

Here, effort and reward are inversely related. The more effort you put into achieving something, the more you will fail. The water test described above works in this way. The more you try to stay on the surface, the more likely you will go to the bottom. The most important goals and experiences in life also follow the inverted curve principle.

Striving for happiness, we only move away from it. The need for love and understanding prevents us from loving and understanding ourselves.

Desiring a positive experience is itself a negative experience, and embracing a negative experience is a positive experience. This reverse law applies to almost every aspect of our mental health and relationships.

• Control. The more we strive to control our emotions and impulses, the more powerless we feel. Conversely, when we accept them, it is easier for us to direct and be aware of them.
• Freedom. The constant pursuit of freedom limits us. But when we ourselves limit ourselves, choosing something specific in life, we become truly free.
• Happiness. Trying to be happy is only frustrating. helps to become happier.
• Security. Constant anxiety about security heightens feelings of insecurity. Resigning yourself to the discomfort of the unknown will make you feel calmer.
• Love. The more we try to get others to accept and love us, the less the results. And the less we ourselves will love ourselves.
• Respect. The more we demand respect from others, the less they will respect us. The more we ourselves respect those around us, the more they will respect us.
• Confidence. The more we try to build trust in ourselves, the less we will be trusted.
• Confidence. The more we want to be confident, the more anxious we become. And when we accept our shortcomings, we feel more comfortable.
• Change. The more desperately we want to change, the more it seems to us that we are missing something. And having accepted ourselves, we begin to grow and develop. When we are busy with interesting things, there is no time for self-examination.
• Meaningfulness. The more we strive to find purpose or deeper meaning in life, the more we focus on ourselves. Only when we are, we live meaningfully.

When it comes to these abstract concepts, our mind is like a dog catching its own tail. Only he always slips away. The dog cannot realize that it and the tail are one and the same.

Therefore, our goal is to wean the consciousness from chasing its own "tail". Don't run after meaning, freedom and happiness. Teach him to achieve what he wants by giving it up. Remind yourself that the only way to stay on the surface is to let yourself sink.

To do this, you must surrender. Not out of weakness, but out of respect for the fact that the world around you is out of your control. Let go of what is out of control. Accept that sometimes people will not like you, often failures await you and you will not always understand what you are doing at all.

Embrace fear and uncertainty, and when you feel like you're drowning and bottoming out, they will push you back to salvation.