5 tips for making the right decisions

1. Be objective

All important life decisions are in one way or another related to the assessment of financial, emotional, social, intellectual and other values. Each must be considered and carefully weighed. And at the same time, take into account not only the near, but also the distant future.

Analyzing your own values is usually very difficult because it requires being objective.

We tend to favor momentary rewards and act on emotions. In addition, we depend on existing prejudices and the desire to protect our reputation. We find it difficult to discern the long-term benefits of any solution, because there are fears and anxieties that worry us right now. And it's hard to ignore them.

Emotions complicate things. They will never allow us to admit that we were wrong and give up what we have devoted a lot of time to. The problem lies precisely in the wrong prioritization. And in order to learn how to make the right decisions, you must first honestly admit your mistakes.

Among other things, emotions force us to avoid short-term difficulties, even if in the long term they can lead to success. However, the main secret of decision-making is to learn to see exactly the difficulties that will ultimately help you succeed.

2. Don't be afraid to lose

You've probably heard stories of entrepreneurs who went through a dozen failures before building a profitable business.

Sometimes it seems that they are just lucky. But we hide from our attention work with dozens of raw business ideas, each of which has little chance of success, but promises great benefits. That is, if the business goes out of business, the entrepreneur will lose very little money. But if this idea works, the profits will be huge.

Imagine you are rolling two dice. And, as soon as they have the same number of points, you will receive $ 10,000. But each roll costs $ 100. How many times will you have to play? If you are at ease with math, then you will understand that the probability of winning is quite high. Therefore, you need to try until you run out of all the money.

Most people do not even think about the fact that life is an incessant series of such throws. And even losing something for each attempt, in the end you can win.

Yes, in this game you will have more failures than victories. But one gain will outweigh all losses - so it's worth it.

This approach can be applied in all areas of life:

At work. Offer bold ideas, even if you know 90% of them will reject. And if at least one is appreciated, it will be a powerful impetus for the development of your career.
In education. Allow your children to face difficulties at an early age, even if they are sure they will not cope. If they succeed, it will give them a huge advantage in the future.
In personal life. On dates, be bold and straightforward, not hiding who and what you want. Be prepared that because of this you will not get along with many people.
In self-education. Buy a bunch of complicated books, even if you're afraid that most of them will be completely incomprehensible and useless to you. And one of them will radically change your life.
In relationships with others. Accept all invitations, knowing in advance that the event or the people present there will be boring, and you will go home before everyone else. One day you will meet someone really important and interesting there.

Waiting for the immediate result, you deprive yourself of the opportunity to achieve success in the future. The reason most people do this is because of the same emotions. However, they are short-lived and dictated by the current moment. And this interferes with the correct decision-making.

3. Nurture your emotions

If you observe carefully, you can conclude that naughty dogs always have bad owners. After all, the discipline of an animal is a reflection of the self-discipline of its owner. Rarely do you see a dog with a normal owner, which destroys the house, chews toilet paper and stains the sofa.

This is because our connection with pets is emotional. If you do not know how to cope with your own emotions, you cannot cope with a dog. It's simple.

Emotions are the same dog, only it lives in the head. She just wants to eat, sleep, have sex and have fun, but does not think about the consequences at all. And with this part of our "I" you need to work.

This "dog" in our head is actually capable of influencing behavior. For example, we know intellectually that eating ice cream for breakfast is a bad idea. But if our "dog" brain wants this, it will be difficult to convince him. That is why this part of the consciousness needs to be constantly educated and trained, literally like a pet. You must give yourself the right commands, reward yourself and punish yourself. But, of course, sometimes indulge.

4. Keep future regrets to a minimum

Psychologists sometimes refer to regret as a rational emotion. Trying to predict the future and find in it what we have to regret, we try to reason rationally.

When making a decision, introduce yourself after choosing one of the options. Try to understand what makes you feel sorry in this case. Then play the same future again, but imagining that you have made a different choice. Compare the different versions, assessing when you feel more regret.

This method is, firstly, very exciting, and secondly, very effective. But provided that you have thought of all possible options and have all the necessary information that is available to you.

Most of us are afraid of failing or making a serious mistake. But enough to ask yourself: "Will I regret this mistake?" If the answer is no, this is the risk to take.

Likewise, many people like to paint huge success in their imaginations. Ask yourself the question, "Will I be sorry if I don't get it?" And if you answer yes, it is worth sacrificing something.

Sometimes the right decision becomes extremely clear, as soon as you bring it under these two conditions. It is said that Jeff Bezos left his high and well-paid position to found Amazon precisely because he was confident that he would regret it if he did not at least try to create something similar in his entire life. Remaining in his old job, he would reproach himself more anyway.

Instead of basing your decisions on the likelihood of success or failure, think about possible regrets. This is the most accurate indicator of what really matters to you.

5. Write everything down

The best way to distinguish emotional outbursts from intelligent decisions is to write them down.

Expressing your thoughts on paper is a simple, but very effective way to organize everything that is spinning in your head.

Uncertain feelings are structured and understandable. Internal contradictions become noticeable. And re-reading what has been written allows you to see your own logic (or lack of it) and opens up new ideas that you never thought of.

Here's what you can write down to help you make the right decision:

What are the costs and benefits?The first step is to thoroughly analyze what you gain and lose with each option. Don't be limited to a banal list of pros and cons. Make a five-column table. Divide the “pros” column in half, into long-term and short-term benefits: you get them by making a decision. In addition to the "cons" arguments, add a column for regrets: you can experience them in the future by making certain choices. In the last column, note if there is an existing option with a small chance of huge success.
What motivated your decision?Is this the quality that you want to develop in yourself? All decisions that we make, serious and not very, are somehow motivated by our intentions. Sometimes they are obvious, for example, if the desire to satisfy your hunger prompts you to eat something. But sometimes everything is not so simple: when we ourselves cannot understand what drives us, or when goals intersect with our core values.

Here are some examples of questions to ask yourself:

Are you buying a new car because it is really more profitable and better or because you want to impress others?
Are you applying for sole custody of your children because it's actually in their best interest or are you just trying to get revenge on your ex-husband?
Are you trying to start a business because you are inspired by the difficulties, ups and downs along the way, or are you just jealous of friends who have their own business?

If you eventually discover some ulterior motives, stop and ask yourself if your intentions will help you become who you really want to be.