How to buy happiness: why it is worth spending money on experience and not on things

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

The researchers decided that happiness can still be bought. The main thing is to choose the right purchase.

The debate about whether they can make a person happy never subsided. And scientific studies on this issue have not been able to give an unambiguous answer. Only in the 70s did the economist discover a paradox: money helps to become happier, but only up to a certain point. As soon as you have enough for everything you need, the pleasure of money becomes less and less, no matter how huge the income may be.

Researchers at Cornell University have taken a fresh look at whether happiness can be bought. It turned out that it is possible, but the amount earned does not affect mental well-being. It is not money that will help you to enjoy life, but the right acquisitions.

Happiness is a human condition that corresponds to the greatest inner satisfaction with the conditions of one's being, the fullness and meaningfulness of life, the realization of one's human purpose.

Great Soviet Encyclopedia

Money tends to run out, even if you have billions of dollars in accounts that few can boast of. To buy real happiness with your hard earned, and not a fake for it, you need to carefully choose the purchase. Imagine that you have the opportunity to make a profitable purchase. What images do you have in your mind? For the vast majority of people, they will be material: apartments, cars, factories, furniture, things.

We believe that it is necessary to acquire things that will be stored for a long time, which means that they will please us if we just look at them or think about them. Dr. Thomas Gilovich, of Cornell University in the United States, found this to be a logical trap. Thinking that the pleasure of buying things can be infinite, we make a mistake. It turns out that the joy of attending a concert or exhibition, hiking in the mountains or going to a conference is much stronger and lasts longer than the excitement of a new renovation.

New things please, but only while they are new

The main enemy of our happiness is adaptation or habit. Dr. Gilovich has studied how the shopping experience changes for nearly two decades. We spend money, we receive things in exchange for them, and at this moment the joy is very strong. But time passes, we get used to what we have, emotions fade away, and the purchase no longer causes joy: I want to buy another jacket, I want to find a bigger apartment, I want to get into a more powerful car. We spend money on things again, and they bore us again.

In order not to fall into a vicious circle, Dr. Dzhilovich advises to think three times before buying and invest in a new experience: gain new knowledge, play sports or go on a trip.

Oleg Vikharev eLearning Designer at Veeam Software

I have practically no craving for "materialism", and I buy things infrequently and out of necessity, but I spend money on impressions with pleasure.

If I have a choice: buy a new phone, despite the fact that the old one works well, or buy a subscription to the pool for a year, I will choose the pool, because I will get used to the phone in a month and stop paying attention to it, and the pool will stably please me three once a week. I like swimming, I can feel how my body is resting and exercising, and I see some progress. These sensations are regular and much more pleasant than the short-term joy of a purchased phone.

I believe that doing something for the body and mind is better than buying a certain item without experiencing a special need for it. Because the body and mind are yourself, and the object exists separately. Therefore, the joy from him is usually short: I played a little, and I already want a new one.

Dr. Gilovich learned how habit affects our happiness. The respondents who took part in the study needed to tell how their attitude to purchases and to the acquired experience changed.

Initially, the joy was equally strong. But over time, the purchased things brought less satisfaction. But memories of impressions or new skills in which money was invested were more pleasing, and their value only grew.

You can buy and store wealth. They will lie and … that's all. Gradually, the delight will subside. Things live long, but happiness is fleeting matter. The longer a thing serves us, the more firmly it is embedded in the background picture of the surrounding world, the easier it is to stop noticing it.

Today a new car is your dream come true! It sparkles, growls, rushes. You will only drive to proven car washes, leave it only in covered parking lots, take selfies while driving. And never allow smoking in the salon! After a couple of weeks, late for an appointment, you jump behind the wheel in dirty shoes. After six months, you will unsuccessfully park and decorate the bumper with a scratch. And right there at the crossroads you will be cut off by some brand new jeep, which is definitely cooler in some way. After a couple of years, after wiping the number with a rag, you will take the car from the spontaneous parking near the house and go to the car dealership for new emotions.

We get used to exactly what stays with us for a long time, and in this matter, things, turning into a routine and commonplace, greatly lose to impressions and experience. The longer an object is next to us, the less we are interested in it. And any impressions become an inseparable part of our "I". Experience is not static, it accumulates, changes depending on our views. Things stay the same or wear out, and experience builds into us and shapes the personality.

Money can buy happiness, but it cannot be held back

If the joy even from a good purchase gradually melts, what can we say about things that turned out to be of not very high quality? Nothing but disappointment can be expected. And experiences, even negative ones, will be beneficial and satisfying. One of Jilovich's studies showed that if your impressions of the event were not bright, you need to talk about it with loved ones you trust. After analyzing unpleasant situations, people give their experience a much higher rating. Remember how many funny stories that are told in friendly companies started with obviously bad ideas.

Once a torrential rain drove seven people into a two-person tent with holes. All seven were convinced that this was the nastiest night of their lives. But a week later, an unpleasant episode in eyewitness accounts turned into a hilariously funny story.

It's embarrassing to even repeat the fact that they learn from mistakes, and this is a key function of negative experience.

Another reason it's worth paying for new experiences is that the experience brings you closer to other people. You have a lot more in common with the person you skydived with than with the person who bought the same kitchen set as you. Experience is always a reason to communicate. We receive it together with other people, and then share it with new acquaintances, building long communication chains. Who is more interesting for you to talk to: an acting graduate you just signed up for, or an unknown visitor to a jewelry store?

Slava Baransky editor-in-chief of Lifehacker

I do not have and never had a car, I do not have a purchased apartment, and I never planned to buy them. I have always spent only on experience and travel. First to the Crimea, then to other countries. I buy a new gadget not because I want to stand out, but because I wonder how people will use it. My hobbies are triathlon and Ironman is an experience, my book is an experience. All these are costs that do not bring money, but I have something to tell and something to be proud of. This is the main thing for me. And not "your corner".

Only you can evaluate your experience. Compare your house with others: which side of the windows overlook in the house opposite, what size is the neighbor's plot, what wonderful architecture near the royal palace … You can always find a reason for envy if you draw parallels with similar things. And your impressions will withstand any test of envy and Facebook photos.

Things are much easier to compare. What is the price? How many carats? How many horses? How many meters? Now try applying this to your experience. How much knowledge do you have in grams? How much joy is in horsepower?

Envy, which is very difficult to get rid of, haunts us much less if we do not compare things. Of course, even on vacation you can find a reason to envy: someone flies first class and stays in a suite, while someone goes to spend the night in a hostel. But there are much more negative emotions when you compare your expensive bag with a colleague's bag.

How much you need to earn to have enough for happiness

It should not be forgotten that, in accordance with Easterlin's paradox, material goods in the economy at a certain stage remain synonymous with happiness. Even paradise in a hut is accessible only if there is a hut or at least branches for construction. But are you sure that weaving the fourth floor is more important than learning how to build from stone?

The World Happiness Index over and over again makes people feel satisfied not only in prosperous countries, but also on the poor African continent and in troubled South America. In Europe, the leading positions are taken by states in which the education system is well developed and residents can maintain a balance between work and leisure.

Victoria Efremova trainer-consultant of the ATOK training course, director of the center for adaptation of orphans "Steps" I conduct trainings. Their main tasks are: harmonizing the inner world, removing subconscious blocks and attitudes, solving problems of the past for a happy future. So, every second person who comes to study (and maybe more) is more or less obsessed with money. And even from the point of view of elementary psychology, one can see that this race is proof of its significance, its abilities, and its existence in general.

In our world, money began to mean so much that their amount supposedly makes you cool, strong, smart. And I ask these people a question: “Imagine that you have everything material that you dreamed of: money, cars, apartments, yachts, houses, equipment … But at the same time you are left alone in the desert, there are no people around, and you have no one show all your wealth. What to do? What would you wish then? It is easy to guess that everyone answers about the same: I would like to have someone close with whom you can talk, eat, drink, go hiking, sleep in a tent, travel.

When people get rid of the obsession "cut the dough" and start just living, earning, but doing what they love, the smile never leaves their faces.

How to overcome the Easterlin paradox and make money work for our happiness? Gain experience, not just material goods. Experience is a way to get the most out of your money, no matter how broad or modest your financial options are. This statement doesn't just work on a personal level. If you want to engage employees with the process and increase the efficiency of the enterprise - give employees the opportunity to learn. If you want to build a political or administrative career, make voters happy by helping them gain more experience.

The next time you think about what to spend your free money on, try buying yourself some experience and happiness. And remember, the experience is available completely free of charge.