Features of raising children in Japan

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

The main responsibility of a woman is to be a mother, and it is not customary in Japan to shift her obligations onto others.

We have already told you what to learn from the Japanese. However, the art of borrowing, perseverance and respect for personal space are far from all the features of a national character that can be adopted from this amazing people.

No less interesting is the approach of the inhabitants of the Land of the Rising Sun to raising children. It is called ikuji. And this is not just a collection of pedagogical methods. This is a whole philosophy aimed at education and training of new generations.

Mother and child are one

Sweat, pain, tears … And now the "child of the Sun" is born. First cry. The doctor carefully cuts the umbilical cord. A small piece of it will later be dried and put in a box with gilded letters - the mother's name and the child's date of birth. The umbilical cord as a symbol of the now invisible, but strong and indestructible bond between mother and her child.

Mothers are called amae in Japan. It is difficult to translate and understand the deep meaning of this word. But the verb “amaeru” derived from it means “to pamper”, “to patronize”.

From time immemorial, raising children in a Japanese family has been the responsibility of a woman. Of course, by the 21st century, morals have changed a lot. If earlier the fairer sex was engaged exclusively in housekeeping, then modern Japanese women study, work, travel.

Nevertheless, if a woman decides to become a mother, she must fully devote herself to this. It is not encouraged to go to work until the child is three years old. It is not good to leave a baby in the care of grandparents. The main duty of a woman is to be a mother, and it is not customary in Japan to shift her obligations onto others.

Moreover, up to a year old, mother and child are practically a single whole. Wherever the Japanese woman goes, whatever she does, the baby is always there - at the chest or behind her back. Baby slings appeared in the country long before their spread in the West, and creative Japanese designers are improving them in every possible way, developing special outerwear with pockets for children.

Amae is the shadow of her child. Constant physical and spiritual contact creates unshakable maternal authority. For a Japanese, there is nothing worse than upsetting or offending your mother.

The child is a god

Until the age of five, according to the principles of ikuji, a child is a celestial. They don't forbid him anything, they don't shout at him, they don't punish him. For him there are no words "no", "bad", "dangerous". The kid is free in his cognitive activity.

From the point of view of European and American parents, this is self-indulgence, indulgence, a complete lack of control. In fact, parental authority in Japan is much stronger than it is in the West. And all because it is based on personal example and appeal to feelings.

In 1994, a study was conducted on the difference in approaches to teaching and education in Japan and America. Scientist Azuma Hiroshi asked representatives of both cultures to assemble a pyramid constructor together with their child. As a result of observation, it was revealed that the Japanese women first showed how to build the structure, and then allowed the child to repeat it. If he was wrong, the woman would start all over again. The American women went the other way. Before starting to build, they explained to the kid in detail the algorithm of actions and only then, together with him (!), They built.

Based on the observed difference in pedagogical methods, Azuma defined the “educating” type of parenting. The Japanese admonish their children not with words, but with their own actions.

At the same time, the child is taught from a very early age to be attentive to his feelings - his own, the people around him and even objects. The little prankster is not driven away from the hot cup, but if he burns himself, the amae asks his forgiveness. Not forgetting to mention the pain caused to her by the rash act of the child.

Another example: a spoiled kid breaks his favorite typewriter. What will an American or a European do in this case? Most likely, he will take the toy and read the notation about how hard it worked to buy it. The Japanese woman will not do anything. She will only say, "You're hurting her."

Thus, under the age of five, children in Japan can formally do anything. Thus, in their minds the image of "I am good" is formed, which later turns into "I am educated and loving my parents."

The child is a slave

At the age of five, a child is faced with a "harsh reality": he falls under strict rules and restrictions that cannot be ignored.

The fact is that from time immemorial the Japanese people are inclined to the concept of communality. Natural, climatic and economic conditions forced people to live and work hand in hand. Only mutual assistance and selfless service to the common cause ensured the rice harvest, which means a well-fed life. This explains both the highly developed syudan isiki (group consciousness) and the IE system (patriarchal family structure). The public interest is paramount. Man is a cog in a complex mechanism. If you have not found your place among people, you are an outcast.

That is why grown-up children are taught to be part of a group: "If you behave like this, they will laugh at you." For the Japanese, there is nothing worse than social alienation, and children quickly get used to sacrifice individual selfish motives.

The teacher (and they, by the way, are constantly changing) in a kindergarten or special preparatory school plays the role of not a teacher, but a coordinator. In the arsenal of his pedagogical methods there is, for example, the delegation of powers to supervise behavior. Giving assignments to the wards, the teacher breaks them up into groups, explaining that it is necessary not only to do your part well, but also to follow the comrades. Favorite activities of Japanese kids are team sports games, relay races, choral singing.

Attachment to the mother also helps to follow the "laws of the pack". After all, if you violate the generally accepted norms, the amae will get very upset. This is a shame not on her, but on her name.

So, for the next 10 years of life, the child learns to be part of microgroups, to work harmoniously in a team. This is how his group consciousness and social responsibility are formed.

The child is equal

By the age of 15, the child is considered a practically formed personality. This is followed by a short stage of rebellion and self-identification, which, however, rarely undermine the foundations laid in the previous two periods.

Ikuji is an unusual and even paradoxical education system. At least in our European understanding. However, it has been tested for centuries and helps to grow disciplined, law-abiding citizens of their country.

Do you think this approach is acceptable for domestic reality? Perhaps you have tried some ikuji principles in raising your own children? Tell us about your experience.