3 letters that can change the environment at work

The phrase "Yes, and …"

Three letters that can change the atmosphere at work add up to an unusually powerful phrase "Yes, and …". For all its apparent simplicity, its practical application can be extremely varied and diverse.

As a means of communication, the phrase “Yes, and…” can be of great value as a conflict management tool, allowing you to strongly disagree with someone and still communicate with them openly and respectfully.

By itself, "yes" is a statement and acts as a signal to end the conversation when no new information is offered for consideration. “Yes” combined with “and” demonstrates respect because it implies focus and concentration.

“Yes” implies being attentive to what someone else is saying. "And" serves as a connecting element allowing you to express your own thoughts, which may or may not be based on your proposed idea.

“Yes” shows that you have fully listened to what someone has just said, that you have tried to understand it and that you are ready to consider it at least as it appears at first glance. “And,” spoken in a confident tone, reverently opens the door for using your own perspective.

Decoding:

“Yes” = I can hear what you are saying. You have complete control over my attention. I am determined to listen to you and understand as well as I can.
"I" = I understand you very well. This is how I can support you. This is how I can be of service to you. This is how grateful I am for what you shared with me.

Why is it worth wasting time and effort on such seemingly small changes in tone and language? Because you have to work with people. And the better you do it, the more successful you are. Using the phrase "Yes, and …" in dialogue can be an effective means of strengthening relationships. The phrase helps people communicate better with each other.

Let's look at an example. If one person says, “God, this kitchen is so hot,” then the other doesn’t say, “Nothing of the kind, I’m terribly cold” or “We are not in the kitchen. We're in a jacuzzi on a cruise ship. " Both of these statements deny, refute, and otherwise undermine the proposal that the first person made. Guided by the principle “Yes, and …” one could answer like this: “Yes, it is unbearably hot. And the fact that I set fire to the house is unlikely to help us."

Watching the improvisers on stage, the audience does not need to know that the performers accept and use any particular philosophy - the audience simply reacts to what makes them laugh, interests or impresses. The same invisible principle "Yes, and …" should be in communication. Real communication should be visible, not the application of techniques.

The phrase "Yes, but …"

At first glance, it may seem that replacing "Yes, and …" with "Yes, but …" does not really matter, but its psychological consequences can be very profound.

"Yes, but …" is not a more polite way of saying no. In fact, this is just a condescending form of "no." When people use the phrase "Yes, but …" in communication, they deny, refute, limit or somehow alter what they hear - in any case, this is what their interlocutors think, especially if it is repeated regularly for a long time.

The small transition from “but” to “and” can have a powerful effect on how the message is received. "But" excludes everything that preceded it, and closes the discussion of the topic. “I” expands the topic and suggests continuing the discussion.

If you use the phrase "Yes, but …" in your speech more often, you teach people to react negatively. After the collision with "Yes, but …" they leave with the feeling that they have gagged and kicked out, because their idea is worthless. They were denied the opportunity to be heard. Over time, these negative feelings will limit the contribution that the employee makes or tries to make to the success of the project or business.

However, do not forget that "Yes, and …" is not a panacea or magic elixir that can heal all ailments. Sometimes the only correct answer is “No”.

In his book Business Improvisation. Tactics, Methods, Strategies”Bob Kulhan adapted the experience of theatrical improvisation, its techniques, basic principles and strategies for the development of corporate culture. It offers a vast arsenal of tools that readers can apply both at the individual level, in communication with one person, and at the organizational level, where thousands of employees work.