Conflicts in the office: how to defuse tensions

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Successful conflict resolution in the workplace is directly related to the development of emotional intelligence. It is he who will help reduce the intensity of passions and prevent unnecessary collisions.

Disagreement is an integral part of our life. And the office is also not a conflict-free zone. However, some tension in relations between employees does not always indicate some negative tendencies.

If there are no conflicts at all in the workplace, this is an alarming signal. Usually, in this case, the workers are not at all interested in their business or they are not satisfied with something, but they keep it to themselves, pretending that everything is fine. If people actively interact with each other, even when this interaction takes on a negative connotation, there is always an opportunity to find a constructive solution to emerging problems. You just need to approach him competently.

This is another area in which emotional intelligence can be applied. The skills of constructive interpersonal communication are needed not only to avoid conflicts, but also to prevent their escalation, identify the source of contradictions and achieve mutual understanding. This way, stronger bonds can be formed between workers. Here are six steps to take to successfully resolve conflicts.

1. Take control of your emotions

People with high emotional intelligence who are able to control their emotional state usually do not respond to negativity. If you feel like you're about to lose your temper, give yourself some time to cool off and then take a rational look at the situation. The advice "take a deep breath and count to 10" in this case does not lose its relevance.

While tense situations exacerbate conflicts, most disagreements do not arise during times of crisis. The point is to prevent the possibility of its aggravation even before working on resolving the conflict. You will probably have even more time than you think to calm everyone down, including yourself.

2. Don't take criticism personally, even if you have a reason

Anger and other intense feelings and emotions are often triggered by things that remind us of our past experiences. This means that you may not actually have any cause for concern.

You can figure out the reasons for your reaction without the help of a psychologist. Sometimes deduction is not necessary here. For example, if you have a falling out with your significant other at home, later that morning, you may unknowingly transfer your anger onto a coworker. Emotionally intelligent people can always tell when a complaint is about them and when it shouldn't be taken personally.

3. Before you act, listen

When both you and the other person are angry, you usually try to make sure that your position is heard. However, instead of reacting to the negative emotions of the other person, it is better to try to get into his position and find out what caused them.

Resist the temptation to be defensive and instead try to ask the other person the right questions to help them speak up and explain their point of view. An emotionally intelligent person is not only aware of his feelings and analyzes his behavior. He helps others to do the same. Sometimes, when the interlocutor realizes that he is really being listened to, he abandons the conflicting tone and proceeds to an open discussion of the problem.

4. Wait a while, but don't ignore the conflict

Conflicts bring such discomfort to many people that, at the slightest hint of them, they prefer to retreat. They often pretend that there is no conflict at all, or play down its significance.

This is unreasonable. In order for all parties to the conflict to feel better, it is necessary to resolve the contradictions. It is sometimes helpful to give yourself time to cool down. But breathing space is not a solution to the problem. Conflicts rarely resolve on their own.

5. Empathize

The first four tips are not that hard to follow. If you are emotionally intelligent, keeping a cool head and letting others speak up will not be an impossible task for you. But learning to sincerely empathize with someone, especially if this someone clearly has some complaints about you and openly expresses them, can be much more difficult.

In fact, many of us are constantly overcome by internal conflicts, which eventually spill over into interpersonal ones. And we often do not track this. Accepting that others may be experiencing similar problems is already the first step to mastering the art of empathy.

Try to find out what is going on and be aware that you are unlikely to see the full picture. Then consider if there is something you can do to help your opponent. At the same time, it's a good idea to build boundaries so that other people's emotions don't take over you. Taking care of yourself is also important. Sometimes you need to give a helping hand to a person. But not two hands at once.

6. Learn from conflicts

To successfully resolve conflicts that can arise at work, it is necessary to understand their root causes associated with certain patterns of behavior. The experience of resolving other conflicts will help you see exactly how you need to influence your opponent in the next contradictory situation: for example, what words to choose so that he calms down. Use this experience to get out of the conflict with the least damage to all parties, and sometimes prevent it.

Approach a colleague who, in your opinion, is upset about something, tell him that you noticed it, and demonstrate your willingness to provide all possible help in solving his problem. In return, you will receive his gratitude, respect and trust and destroy the very possibility of new unpleasant clashes in the bud.

Colleagues are the people with whom you have to interact, whether you like it or not. And not only the psychological atmosphere in the company, the success of your business, but also your personal inner state depends on the successful resolution of conflicts in the workplace. Develop your emotional intelligence and use the experience of previous encounters to constructively resolve and prevent new conflicts.