11 secrets of a fulfilling and harmonious life after 45

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

This is a great time to remember an old dream, do what you like, and communicate with those with whom you want - in a word, to be happy.

I have never thought about the fact that when the children grow up, I will have some other life "for myself." It was not clear to me at all what kind of life it was?

And I approached her unprepared. My 45th birthday coincided with the 18th birthday of my youngest daughter, and at one point I realized quite clearly: my responsibility for raising children was over. And emptiness came … And then panic - what to do now? No joke, 25 years in a row, without days off and holidays to bear such a responsibility. I didn't have a new child to fill the void and bring meaning back to my present. But there were many regrets about the "uncomfortable" life and the coming loneliness.

And then I calmed down, asked myself the question "What's next?" and saw something nice. As it turned out, the turn of 45 is a path to a new reality. And it's great if you learn a few important lessons in time.

1. Free time now belongs only to you

You can decide for yourself what to fill it with, how to distribute it and where to invest. Lie on the couch all day, conquer Mount Everest or embroider with a cross. Feed stray dogs or write poetry. You can do whatever your heart desires. Complete freedom of decisions!

My find is to set aside one day a week for yourself when you do whatever comes to mind! You just get up in the morning with any foot, go wherever your eyes look, and do what you want.

2. The moment has come to remember the deferred dreams

What did you dream about in childhood, adolescence, or ten years ago? Most likely, nothing will be immediately remembered and you will have to dig deep into the bins of memory. But when it is found, it will be a bomb! Do not doubt! Because a dream is a dormant volcano. And if you wake him up, you can't stop the process.

And now there is plenty of time for dreams. After unearthing a lingering dream of Latin American dancing and learning how to dance, I now regularly rock the dancefloor, made Latin American friends, and learned to speak Spanish.

3. Maturity opens up new horizons for the future

After 45, life begins to decline smoothly. As if you have conquered the mountain, reached the top and, after admiring the views, you are preparing for the descent. The middle of life has passed, and this must be recognized. The heyday has come true, there is a gradual fading ahead.

This is a very difficult moment to accept your maturity and move on with a happy and fulfilling life. Find advantages in this and enjoy them, and not try to hold back the outgoing youth. She will have to let go and believe that every age has its own charms. Compare a young apple and a ripe one. Do you feel the difference?

I came to the conclusion that the ability to be happy can and should be trained. The # 100happydays marathon and Instagram helped me with this, where I collect moments of happiness in photos.

4. For a fulfilling life, you need to be at the same time with the body

With age, the processes in the body slow down and hormonal changes occur. Now you need to be especially careful about yourself and undergo a full examination once a year. After all, it's very cool to be at the same time with your body and realize that it supports you in all your endeavors, and does not interfere with them. When you can easily afford to ride with your grandchildren, dance at parties until five in the morning and feel like a cucumber on long flights and trips.

I made a checklist of all my weak points, necessary tests and examinations, as well as doctors and clinics. Now I include these activities in my plan for the year, and the necessary expenses in my personal budget.

5. The environment we like, we create ourselves

If you have chosen a course towards a happy life after 45, then, most likely, you will have to reconsider your environment and determine for yourself who all these people are. Friends? Familiar? Friends? What do you have in common with them? How does this communication fill you? In this way, you can create interest circles for yourself and eliminate unnecessary and consuming connection forces.

The rule of comfortable and developing communication is not to mix topics and people from different circles. After such an "inventory", I formed a circle of closest friends and relatives and a couple of interest circles (dancing and writing). And those people who were not included in them gradually disappeared from my life.

6. The inevitability of being overweight after 45 is a myth

The most important thing is the desire to stay slim and beautiful. And then ask yourself how to do it. Because in reality everything is not very difficult. First you need to figure out your taste preferences. Then determine whether they are good or bad. And if you have bad eating habits, then look for their reasons. Because you can get rid of them only by eliminating the reasons.

My rules for a slender figure: there is only when it is required, as much as it is required, and only what is required. If the rule does not work, then this is a reason to ask yourself the question: what is wrong with me? What internal problems do I compensate for with food?

7. For vivacity and harmony, your favorite activities will come in handy

Having accepted the fact that now life is declining, you need to move enough to maintain good spirits and harmony of the body. Find your favorite activity. What do you like? Start running, kayaking, hiking in the mountains, or just buy some Scandinavian sticks. Sometimes new sneakers or dance shoes are enough to make you want to get involved in an active hobby. Because movement is life! And after 45 it is still very, very much!

My favorite activities are walking in the woods, cycling, swimming and many Latin American dances. In winter, of course, skiing and skating, as well as downhill skiing with grandchildren and felting in the snow.

8. Creativity opens a second wind in self-realization

Usually, by this age, one already manages to realize oneself in some kind of activity, therefore, a professional crisis may arise. You will want to change your usual area, apply your skills to another area of interest. Here you have to delve well: what does the soul lie for, what ignites the eyes? You can excavate yourself using freewriting, you can ask friends to ask you questions about this topic. You can use the services of psychologists or coaches. Or choose the right online course on the topic of finding a vocation, of which there are now a great many.

I have used all the methods! But the most effective were online courses, after which I discovered the world of writing. This is my parallel world for the soul, which is now in my personal blog: articles, stories and even one almost finished novel. A collection of funny poems is being prepared for publication.

9. External beauty is the work of one's own hands and thoughts

They say that every woman is obliged to have a beautiful face by the age of 40. The point here is that in our youth we have the appearance that is given to us. And in maturity, our appearance is the work of our hands and thoughts.

The latter is much more important. If we follow our thoughts, smile and notice the beautiful in life, we know how to thank people and the world around us for everything we have, and do not suffer because of what we do not have, all this will be written on our face. And over the years, this effect only intensifies. But self-care, of course, has not been canceled. Hairdresser, manicure, massage and sauna should be a regular part of your plans. Plus constant home care.

Comparing my photos with a difference of 30 years, I want to say that now I like myself much more! And I would not at all want to return to my 18s.

10. Harmonious relationships are built on respect for personal boundaries

At this age, it is very important to properly build relationships with parents and children. And the most important thing is to outline your own boundaries and distinguish the boundaries of your loved ones. The key to a non-conflict relationship is respect for someone else's space and lifestyle, even if these people are not at all strangers to you.

Do you want a correct attitude to your personal life and your territory? Decide what is interesting for you to do together, and do not break the rules of conduct on the territory of your loved ones. For example, my daughter and I love to go shopping or to a cafe together. And with his son's family - watch a movie or go out of town. And it would be foolish of me to invite my daughter on a hike and my son to go shopping if they hate it.

11. Wisdom is to be happy at any age

There is a joke: “Wisdom comes with age. But sometimes old age comes alone. It seems to me that old age lives in the head. Therefore, I am for wisdom to come alone. No old age. As long as you move, find meaning in life, rejoice, dream, monitor your health and thoughts and manage to catch moments of happiness every day, no old age is scary to you!

Being wise is living the life you like, doing what you like, and connecting with the one you like. And life after 45 opens these opportunities. And if you have achieved Zen and were able to please yourself, then the world will very quickly reciprocate you, do not hesitate! And all this is called - to be happy.

And the wisdom after 45 is to be happy, going into the sunset of your life.