How to stop wasting time and make the right decisions

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

When it is difficult to choose one thing, you just want to postpone this choice for later. But the trouble is that life does not stand still, and in the end you can stay at a broken trough along with your indecision. What's worse - a wrong decision or inaction? So stop wasting time, do something already!

Lately, I often realize that my friends are playing for time before making decisions. "I want to write a book, but I don't know where to start." "I would love to quit, but what am I going to do then?" "I've always wanted to travel, but I can't find the time." In a sense, everything they say means one thing: they are scared.

After 30 years, you will not remember what kind of bread you bought at the bakery. On your deathbed, you won't care what luggage you took with you on vacation. You won't remember if you should have gone to a romantic comedy or an adventure movie (except, of course, the sequel to Die Hard).

None of these things will matter. What really matters is what you did, what you invested in, what you decided to take. Or what they didn't. This is the point.

Indeed, most decisions do not change lives. The universe doesn't care what you eat for breakfast, but chances are good that you eat something. So deal with it! Of course, you'd be better off eating scrambled eggs instead of cookies. But not all solutions are the same. And even vice versa. But most of the time, you have to decide what to do.

You can, of course, make the wrong decisions (for example, not watching Die Hard). But more often than not, when making a decision, you do not choose between this or that, you choose between action and inaction. And most of us are afraid to make choices.

We spend time planning and setting goals that will never be achieved. We are afraid of doing something wrong and obsess over minor details. And, sadly, we waste the most important moments aimlessly.

Better than planning

I don't mind planning. I just know that plans only get in the way of me and a lot of people I have talked to. This is an obstacle. Another way to stay put. So what's the solution to the problem? What will help you get rid of the paralyzing need to choose?

Just get started. Life is a journey, not a business plan. Stop trying to control everything.

I know it sounds too pretentious, right? But what do you want more - to plan your life or live it? Get it all out of your head and live.

It doesn't matter where you are going, how much time you need to think. Just go. More often than not, you just need to move towards something, not what you are moving towards. Stop worrying about which road to take, just go. Once you create momentum, you can learn to manage. This is how life works.

A friend of mine calls this the principle of the bicycle. He means that it is easier to change your life when you are on the move. As with cycling, the faster you go, the easier it is to control. Conversely, if you do not move and try to control, then most likely you will fall. Isn't it interesting that failures happen not when we move too fast, but when we move too slowly? So start pedaling and see where you end up.

What to do next

Your job is to seize the opportunity, not get all the answers. If you're unsure where to start, start with small changes.

1. Go jogging or cycling without a specific goal. Just start driving, hoping to get out of familiar terrain. Rotate at random on every random street or path until you get lost. Don't worry about how to get back. See where you are. Remember this feeling of wonder at where you wandered. Remember to keep driving. Make an effort on yourself and try to get lost more often. This will help you to better overcome difficulties every time you make decisions, big or small.
2. Sit outside without gadgets for an hour. Let yourself get bored and see where boredom takes you. Are you listening to birds chirping? Howling of the wind? Your own breath? Focus on cars, or children, or the sounds of insects. First, do this once a week, then every other day, then every day. One of the reasons we delay making important decisions is because we are distracted by new things. Absent-mindedness is incompatible with decisiveness. Taking a break from the noise will help you tune in to the choices you must make.
3. Do something that scares you. Submit your resume to another job. Tell someone that you love him. Invite your neighbor out on a date. Laugh out loud in a public place. Start a conversation with a stranger. Climb the tree. Call the person you are angry with and forgive him. After that, listen for the feeling of being freed from fear. Remember this feeling the next time you are intimidated by a big goal or a risky situation. Remember you won't die from this. Try and in the future, just trust the course of events.

Some of these tips may sound silly, but the more you follow them, the more you learn to control your feelings. The truth is, we cannot control life, but we can take part in it. Things that may seem out of control are in your power more often than you think.

Just remember: it is not the destination that matters, the direction is important.

If you don't know what to do with your life: what book to write, what song to sing, what job to choose, what person to hire, try to choose at least something. It's not a perfect solution, but at least it's a good start. Because the truth is, if you start moving, you can always change direction.