How to say no and not offend anyone

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Seven variants of a beautiful refusal with a curtsey that command respect of people.

I do not know how to refuse. That is, of course, I try to say no politely, but I rarely succeed. Usually, all my attempts to politely refuse and at the same time not offend the person end either with resentment or with the phrase "well, I'll see what can be done." The most extreme case is a lie. I don’t know if the deception is small, for good or half true. This is an even more difficult question.

Constantly deceiving is not a very good way out, which in the end will still lead to conflict, since you will completely get confused and lie.

How to refuse your boss, who once again asks you to stay after work? How to say a firm "no" to your relatives so that they do not get offended? How do you make it clear to your friends that you cannot help them at the moment?

In fact, there are a huge variety of options, we just do not know about them.

Your offer sounds very tempting, but unfortunately I have too much to do right now

By the phrase “this sounds very tempting” you let the person know that you are interested in his proposal. And the second part says that you would gladly participate (or help), but at the moment you have too many urgent tasks.

Nice refusal, but from my own experience I can say that for close friends or relatives, it will work once or twice, and even then not in a row. If you refuse them this way the third time, no one will offer you anything the fourth time. This is especially true for parties, picnics and other entertainment events.

Remember, once or twice - and then either change your social circle (for some reason you constantly refuse them?), Or finally go somewhere. What if you like it?

But for people you don't see so often, this answer is great.

I'm sorry, but the last time I did this and that, I got a bad experience

Mental or emotional trauma is another interesting option. Only the sadist will continue to insist that the person do what he did not like. Or a complete optimist with the slogan “What if the second time will be better ?!”.

Although with some grandmothers trying to feed their emaciated offspring, the answers "I don't eat meat", "I have lactose intolerance" or "I don't like boiled vegetables" do not work.

But if you say that the last time after you drank milk, you could not be in society all day because of stomach problems, you may be saved. Granny, of course, will look at you a little sideways and with a slight reproach, but she will not pour it into the cup with the words: "Well, this is homemade, from Aunt Klava, nothing will come of him!"

I would love to, but …

Another good way to refuse. You would love to help, but unfortunately you cannot at the moment. But in no case indulge in lengthy explanations why.

First, when you begin to explain something in detail, you gradually begin to feel guilty. And secondly, in this way you give the person the opportunity to catch on to something in your story and persuade you.

Just a short and clear answer. No essays on the topic "I would love to, but you understand, I need to do …".

To be honest, I'm not very good at this. Why don't you ask N, he's a pro

This is by no means a translation of the arrows.

If you've been asked to do something or help with advice and you don't feel competent enough, why not suggest someone who really understands it? So you not only do not offend the person, but also show that you care and you are trying to help in any way you can.

I cannot do this, but I will be happy to help with …

On the one hand, you refuse to do what they are trying to impose on you, on the other hand, you still help and at the same time choose what you want to do.

You look great, but I don't really know it

What to do if a friend bought a dress that, to put it mildly, does not suit her very well. This raises the dilemma "who is more of a friend" - the one who tells the truth, or the one who says that she looks great in all outfits ?! This applies not only to appearance, but also to the choice of an apartment, work and life partner, in the end.

But who are we to be free to talk about fashion? If we were, for example, famous designers, then we could criticize and immediately offer several other options to choose from.

And if not? Then either say everything as it is, if you are sure of the adequacy of a girlfriend or friend, or translate the arrows to some celebrity from the fashion world.

It sounds great! But now, unfortunately, I have a very tight schedule. Let me call you back …

This answer is great when the option is interesting, but right now you are not really in a position to help. So you not only do not offend the person, but also leave for yourself the opportunity to join the offer that interested you a little later.

Even at lectures on psychology at the university, we were taught that it is necessary to refuse, starting a sentence with the word "yes", and then adding the notorious "but".

It works, however, not always. It all depends on the situation and on the person. It won't work for a long time, and sooner or later you will have to explain why "no" after all.

But if you are diplomatic and firm enough, then over time people will know that if you refuse, it’s not because you’re just lazy or you don’t want to have anything to do with them, but because you are a very busy person and you must you can, but a little later. Ultimately, people must learn to respect you and your opinions. As, however, you are a stranger.