Rocking chair syndrome: how to stop preparing and start taking action

What is rocking chair syndrome and where does it come from

For such a situation, when you seem to be doing something, but at the same time not moving anywhere, there is an unofficial, but rather ironic name - "rocking chair syndrome" Of course, this is not a medical diagnosis and not a psychological term. This concept sometimes creeps in The Rocking Chair Syndrome in blogs and very accurately characterizes what is happening.

Lined with books, podcasts, webinars, and tips, you seem to be taking steps at first glance, but in reality you are just rocking back and forth, as if you were sitting in a rocking chair. Sometimes this condition is also called “overtraining”. Why is all this happening to you? There are several reasons.

1. You are tormented by fears

A great variety of different fears that literally paralyze and prevent not only achieving what you want, but even just starting to act. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of criticism, fear of success (yes, there is such a thing - after all, if you succeed in something, your life can change irreversibly).

The mechanism is something like this. You are scared, for example, to create your own business.

You are afraid that you will lose money, you are afraid of instability, condemnation of loved ones, you are afraid that you will not cope.

But it's hard to admit it: after all, you have already set a goal, promised yourself, and perhaps publicly announced that you are opening, say, a store. Sitting still, being afraid and not doing anything in such a situation is already ashamed, and rushing into the pool with your head is very scary.

Therefore, you create something like the illusion of vigorous activity - go to courses, read articles for entrepreneurs, make plans and prepare in every possible way. And you do it for months, if not years. As a result, you never open any store.

2. You strive for the ideal

And do not agree to less. Perfectionism in the modern world is almost a disease. A disease from which more and more people suffer from Perfectionism on the Rise Among College Students every year and which prevents us from enjoying life, and also leads to anxiety and depression. There are several types of perfectionism, but they have one common denominator: "it's better not to do it at all than to do it flawlessly."

Guided by this principle, a person puts off frightening things, begins to desperately procrastinate and, as a result, experiences paralysis You Aren’t Lazy - You’re Just Terrified: On Paralysis And Perfectionism of action. This is part of the vicious circle into which perfectionism drives us.

The same state when you are already tired of watching videos on YouTube and anxiously wandering around the room, unable to get down to business.

In the case of rocking chair syndrome, we procrastinate more or less productively (although this depends on how you look at it). We learn something, make plans, reflect, communicate with people and try to get useful information. But reading stories about how people learned Chinese is not the same as learning a language. In fact, it's still procrastination, which distracts us from the main thing.

3. There is too much information around

The available knowledge and help is, of course, good. There is no need to delve into libraries, collect information bit by bit, look for specialists, travel across the city to expensive studies. But there is a dark side to this accessibility.

There are so many books, courses, consultations and services that anyone's head can spin. It is very difficult to navigate in this abundance: it is not clear how to distinguish truth from lies, and useful information from pouring from empty to empty.

Besides, too much choice is not always good either.

If there are too many options, it is easy to fall into a stupor. And instead of taking decisive action, I endlessly go through books, articles and webinars in search of the most suitable ones.

The danger of a rich choice, by the way, was confirmed by scientists. So, during their experiment When Choice is Demotivating: Can One Desire Too Much of a Good Thing? people were more willing to buy jam if there were only six different jars on the stand. And they refused to buy if there were more than 20 tastes. Marketers and owners of large stores know this - and they deliberately remove some of the goods from the shelves so that the abundance does not confuse us.

How to get out of your rocking chair and get started

1. Limit your choices

This is necessary in order to quickly make a decision and begin to act, and not prepare. Agree with yourself that at first you will read no more than five books and take no more than two training courses.

For example, you can set yourself a condition that you will only read the works of foreign authors or only those that came out in the last year.

Try to set a time limit: do not spend more than one day choosing the right literature or course. In short, experiment to drop the unnecessary and force yourself to decide as quickly as possible.

2. Follow the rule "the faster the better"

This is one technique to help you deal with perfectionism. Take it for granted that speed is important to you at this stage, not quality. Set deadlines as short as possible and get down to business immediately.

For example, promise yourself that by the end of the week you will have learned 30 new words and 15 basic lines of a new foreign language. Or that you will write three thousand words in three days.

You can break a big goal into many tiny steps and sprint each one.

Try using a timer or running a creative or sports marathon. In short, use any methods that will help you enter the flow and not be distracted by self-criticism. Yes, the result will not be perfect. But making adjustments to the finished work is easier than starting from scratch.

3. Strike a balance of preparation and implementation

Try this technique. Draw a two-column table. In the first, you will bring in cases that are aimed at preparing for a new undertaking, in the second - real steps. The ratio of tasks should not be more than 2: 1. That is, try to have at least one real step for two preparatory actions.

In a business example, it might look something like this. Column 1: Read a new book on personal brand, watch a webinar on how to open a store. Second column: search for a rental property. If we take foreign languages, then in the preparatory column there will be, say, choosing a textbook and reading a blog that is led by a popular teacher. And in the action column there will be tasks like “learn a simple dialogue”, “learn how to count to 10”.

Thus, you will become not only a theoretician, but also a practitioner.