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2023 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-22 06:26
Establishing relationships over the Internet is easier for many people than in real life. In virtuality, you can find "your" person, the probability of meeting with whom offline tends to zero (for example, if he is from another country). However, it is worth following a few rules so as not to burn yourself.
Do not hurry
Many newbies signing up to dating sites experience frustration. Often they immediately run into sexually anxious comrades who hide behind the guise of madly in love. If you are not registered with specialized services like Pure, where they look for partners for sex, it can be shocking.
In fact, on dating sites, everyone wants different things. Some - "disposable" or virtual sex, others - to sell this sex, others - just to talk, because it's lonely, fourth - to find a free guide in the city where they are going on a business trip, fifth - to collect materials for psychological research. But among them there are those who want to start a serious relationship.
How to recognize those with whom it is better not to communicate?
- The conversation starts with incredible compliments and quickly turns to the topic of sex.
- The avatar of the interlocutor is a frank or strange photo.
- You received a beautiful, but typical message that could have come to anyone else, without specifics. Usually such messages are sent by pickup artists to several girls at once.
- The partner acts impudently, promises mountains of gold and a million scarlet roses, persistently asks for personal information or send a photo "18+". If refused, it can disappear for a long time.
- They write to you about the terrible grief that happened in the family, and ask for money. Such requests can come after a long and sincere communication. Feel free to ask for proof.
- A new friend is ready to come to visit you "right now" to get to know each other better.
Follow the saying "Trust but verify." New experience is useful, but always think about your safety, because you can run into scammers. If you feel that something unpleasantly clings to you, it is better not to rush.
Those who really like you will not stop communicating with you, even if you refuse to urgently go on a date or send a couple of thousand rubles "for medicine to grandmother."
Write the truth
Sooner or later, you will have to go offline. Therefore, if your avatar has a well-processed photo from ten years ago, a date can turn into disappointment.
It is better to put a photo honest and your own: by this "business card" they will judge who you are and what you want.
Therefore, for those who are looking for a serious relationship, it is better to avoid photographs with a naked torso, in revealing swimsuits, with a kebab and a bottle of vodka in hand, as well as selfies in front of someone else's expensive car.
To admit that you are a categorical fruitarian, do parkour at night and do not like kittens, it is better right away. But do not overdo it: information that you have recently had your appendix cut out will definitely be superfluous. You still have time to bare your soul (and body).
And by the way, it's still better to write the truth without stamps and spelling errors.
Empathy is an important quality that allows you to better understand the feelings and emotions of another person. It helps to distinguish real sympathy from imagined, to avoid illusions and destructive stickiness for a relationship. And also allows you not to become an egocentric who believes that the world revolves only around him.
The rules are simple.
- If you like someone, try to explain why. State the reason: attracted by the photo, interests, hooked by something unusual, and so on.
- Try to find topics that interest both of you, not just you.
- Be friendly, don't try to show yourself better than you are.
- Be tolerant if you get rejected. Don't try to “blow up” boundaries: healthy relationships can only be built on mutual respect.
- If you like a person, do not force him to "run" after you, so that feelings become stronger. If he takes a step forward, do the same. If he retreats, draw conclusions and do not run after him (unless you have offended him - in this case, you must definitely apologize).
- Don't waste time with those you don't like, don't keep them "just in case." Remember that they can do the same with you.
Don't put unnecessary barriers
It is clear that we all want to see an ideal man or woman next to us. But looking strictly “not older than 27”, “not lower than 170”, “not more than 55 kilograms”, “receiving at least 200 thousand” is too childish. Someone does not want brunettes, others do not want to deal with "bald and pot-bellied".
But happiness is not in the presence of cubes on the belly or in a particular hair color.
If you still want to concretize your ideal, make it softer. Write what qualities you value (hobby for reading, music, cinema, alpine skiing, and so on). Point out what you cannot come to terms with (for example, a dislike of animals or a fanatical hobby for computer games).
None of us are perfect. Love, as Bulgakov wrote, can jump out, "like a murderer jumps out of the ground in an alley" - unexpectedly, suddenly. You can fall in love with bald, and pot-bellied, and generally far from the model parameters of a person.
Do not despair
If time passes, and you still have not found "your" person, do not give up on yourself. So you can bring yourself to depression. Wasting your life on constant scanning of dating sites and worrying about unsuccessful searches is definitely not worth it. This does not mean that you are somehow worse than others.
The best way out is to engage in self-development. Find a new hobby, travel, read, go to the gym. An enthusiastic, easy-going person is doubly interesting and is able to attract the same people. This is always worth remembering.