What do people who live to 90 years value and regret?

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Life advice and wisdom that will come in handy at any age.

Life rushes forward quickly, and in everyday worries it is easy to forget about important things. Therefore, it is so valuable to communicate with people who are older than us. They have already experienced their ups and downs and can now draw conclusions about what really matters and what does not.

What really matters to them

1. Continue learning

In 2017, 94-year-old Scottish woman Jean Miller in an interview with The Guardian noted that gaining new knowledge is important no matter how old you are - 9 or 90. “Life is education, and if you don't learn in the process, that's bad,”she said. “Over time, I learned to look at things differently.”

Jean said that she goes to sports, enrolled in German courses, and also became a participant in the "University of the Third Age" program. It is an international movement for older people to help them learn and do fun together. For example, Jin participates in a drama club. She says that it is the constant search for new knowledge and experiences that makes life rich and helps to still feel young.

2. Nice dinner with friends and family

We are often so busy that there is simply no time to gather friends or sit with family. Although, in the end, these are the moments that we value the most. This is the opinion of 91-year-old Sheila Keating, who said in the same interview: "One of my main pleasures is dinner with family and friends."

3. Time with children

In 2018, the writer Lydia Sohn interviewed people over 90. According to her, many called the happiest times when their children were young and lived with them. "But isn't this the most stressful period?" she asked. Everyone agreed, but no doubt they said that those days were the happiest.

4. Be helpful

Krishnamoorty Dasu, 90, said that the most joyful moments in his life came when he was helpful to others. This is confirmed by numerous studies. For example, there is evidence that people feel happier after doing a generous act. It is these moments that people of age remember with warmth.

5. Live in peace

The advice that can be heard most often is to value time with loved ones and not to disappear constantly at work. For example, Don Anderson, 99, said the key to happiness is finding a quiet job. “The main lesson is to live measuredly and relaxed, not to rush too much and not to worry too much on different occasions,” he added.

6. Help others

Many people said that work was not the most important thing. But those whose work truly influenced the lives of others remember him fondly. For example, Howard Howie, 90, who worked as a firefighter. “I remember guys how we worked together to save lives, save homes, save each other. We were a team,”he says.

7. Celebrate for no reason

We are used to celebrating only specific dates: holidays, birthdays, anniversaries. But when people remember their favorite moments, it doesn't matter to them what the party was in honor of - the emotions are captured. As 100-year-old Ruth said in 2011, "Don't look at the calendar, make every day a holiday."

8. Learn about your origins

Lori L., 93, from Florida, said that one of the most joyful experiences she felt was learning her own story. Laurie was adopted because her mother was very young and could not take care of her. The girl grew up on a farm in North Dakota. And now Laurie strongly advises others to study their family history, starting with their grandparents.

What they regret

1. What was not loved more

Preparing to ask a question about regrets in an interview, Lydia Son assumed that she would hear about missed career opportunities. But one of the participants said in response a completely different phrase: "No, I regret that I loved a little."

2. That they did not help their children to strengthen relationships with each other

Sleep also found that most of the regrets were related to family. Many would like to see their own relationship with their children or their relationship with each other differently. One of the participants said that her children have not talked to each other for over 20 years. “It's the only thing that keeps me awake at night,” she added.

3. That they did not monitor their health

Of course, a person who lived to be 90 was clearly doing something right. But Krishnamurti Dasu, for example, noted that if he had been able to give advice to himself in the past, he would have said "to keep the mind and body in shape by reading, meditating and walking."

4. What did not start to postpone earlier

While few said they would like to work harder in the past, many said they would like to postpone more - and start earlier. Pam Zeldin, 94, would advise her young self to save from a young age, "so that you can be financially stable in your old age and then not worry."

5. That we were at home

Pam would also add to her advice to herself "not stay at home, but travel as often as possible." Indeed, few people regret that they have explored the world too much.

6. What were you experiencing

As 94-year-old Betty C. from Florida commented, “Remember to smile and don’t worry, because worrying is useless!”

7. That they retired early

Worrying about work is harmful, but losing a sense of purpose in life is also harmful. As the Japanese physician Shigeaki Hinohara, recognized as the oldest practicing physician in the world, said, “You don’t have to retire at all, but if you do, it’s much later than 65.”

8. What did they attach importance to material goods

Hinohara also advised not to get too carried away by accumulating things. “Do not forget, no one knows when his turn will come, and you cannot take what you have accumulated with you,” he said. Hinohara himself lived to be 105 years old.