5 truly feminine self-esteem tips

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

There are special ways for women to believe in themselves.

Lifehacker has collected five tips that will open your eyes to a lot and help you improve your beloved's opinion of yourself.

1. Stop thinking of yourself as "just a woman"

Society inspires us with the idea that women are inconsistent, cannot find themselves, and therefore at work, many feel like impostors, claiming someone else's place as a breadwinner. At home, women suffer from the fact that, due to their employment, they cannot devote enough time to “truly female” affairs: creating comfort, caring for children, and so on.

This confusion in social roles, the impossibility of torn between diametrically opposed statuses of "purposeful Amazon" for colleagues and business partners and "affectionate domestic cat" for husband and children lead to the fact that a woman loses self-confidence, begins to doubt her own abilities.

At first glance, everything is so. Indeed, a woman has many reasons for doubt. But an important nuance is that men have no less such reasons.

There is no evidence that women suffer from low self-esteem more often than men.

In her column in the popular edition of Psychology Today, Yale University psychology professor Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, author of The Power of Women, cites data from a study involving about 100,000 people. It clearly proved that the self-esteem of girls is not lower than that of young people. Although girls are more concerned with their appearance than boys, there is no difference between their self-esteem. Moreover, girls show higher self-esteem in terms of moral and ethical issues and control over their behavior.

The fact that some women still consider themselves unable to compete with men and do not deserve anything more, Professor Nolen-Hockema blames social stereotypes. Yes, yes, the same ones, about the "weak" field. These ideas, if a woman tries them on, can become something like a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe that you are weak, and all life's difficulties are caused not by a complex of objective reasons, but only by your weakness and worthlessness, then self-esteem can really shake.

The takeaway is simple: stop believing in what makes you weaker. First of all, you are a person who has the right to claim success in exactly the same way as everyone else.

2. Take a closer look at what destroys your self-esteem

Everybody has destructive factors. For men, this is, for example, small stature. Or a little dick. Or the inability to fight back. Or the inability to quickly find the right words. If it seems to you that this does not lower them down the hierarchical ladder in their own eyes, it only seems to you.

Women have their own factors. Here are the three most common.

Excessive emotionality

Experiences - especially before some important event - are common to both sexes. But if men, as a rule, know how to switch, then women's nerves often get out of control. This is a feature of the female psyche. And this is the very case when "forewarned is forearmed."

Take it for granted that before a significant event for you, you are drawn to twist yourself, to worry, and often from scratch. “In a dusty room, I sneeze, sweat during training, and before an important meeting I worry, this is normal, and you can just ignore it,” is an example of a valid mantra.

Appearance

This factor is also a given: women worry about their own appearance much more than men. We will not delve into the reasons why ladies are ashamed of their face or body. Let us only note that this factor can be easily dealt with. Moreover, there are methods of struggle for every taste.

You can, for example, effectively increase your own attractiveness by playing sports. Or, let's say, imbued with the concept of body positivity - learning to accept and love yourself for who you are. Or corny: go to a stylist, revise your wardrobe, sign up for a hairdresser and a beautician and leave all these salons as the girl of your dreams.

Excessive tendency towards introspection and analysis of the actions of other people

“Yes, he said that, but he probably meant something completely different!”, “She invited us to dinner, why would she? Probably he wants to ask for something "," I'm not sure if this is a good offer … What if tomorrow I have other interests? " - every woman noticed such thoughts behind herself.

In general, there is nothing wrong with them. On the contrary, they talk about developed emotional intelligence - a high sensitivity to the needs of one's own and those of others, empathy, the ability to navigate social connections between people. But there is an important caveat: uncontrolled emotional intelligence can turn into a passion for excessive analysis and reflection, which ultimately complicates your life significantly. Fortunately, he is quite amenable to training.

3. Use Popular Techniques to Boost Your Self-Esteem

Both sexes can effectively use universal guidelines for developing self-love:

In addition to them, you can also concentrate on methods that take into account the physical and psychological characteristics of women.

Find a comfortable way to appear taller

“Look down” is not just a common phrase about snobbery. This is one of the principles on which social relations work: we subconsciously perceive high growth as one of the signs of a leader. Here, for example, you can read a detailed article by the authoritative American edition of Business Insider on this subject: it contains the benefits that a person receives through growth. Subconscious perception shapes reality, and if you feel physically superior to those around you, your self-esteem rises at the same time.

It is relatively easy for a woman to feel “majestic” if she puts on high-heeled shoes or a platform, or at least lifts the seat of an office chair higher in order to rise above her counterpart during negotiations. Yes, exercise to increase your height can have a positive effect too.

Watch your posture

A straight back has a powerful effect on behavior and self-perception. The reason is largely physiological: a raised chin and straightened shoulders cause the release of testosterone - a "masculine" hormone that gives assertiveness and self-confidence. Plus, proud posture reduces stress levels and reduces anxiety.

Gesture

Confidence is often related to how much space we take up in space. Remember wildlife: large dominant animals move with sweeping and imposing movements. But those who are hunted, on the contrary, try to be as small and inconspicuous as possible. Gesturing during a conversation helps expand the space in the space that you occupy. As a result, you will feel more freedom and self-confidence.

If you are not used to gesticulating, it is worth practicing in front of a mirror to find exactly those movements that will look as natural as possible.

Don't cross your arms over your chest

This closed pose is also a way to seem small and inconspicuous, therefore, a person who has closed his hands from the world is perceived by others as weak. And he himself begins to feel that way.

If during a conversation you do not know where to put your hands, rest them on your sides: put your palms on your waist, bending your elbows. This is an open pose that exudes confidence.

Don't be afraid to laugh at your mistakes

Insecure people tend to make excuses or hide mistakes. Confident people know how to take responsibility for their decisions, both good and bad. To say “Yes, I was wrong here, next time I will have to act differently” is actually much easier than it seems. And this is a marker by which others define a psychologically strong person.

Ask yourself the question "So what?"

Often we are afraid of some things that do not actually have meaningful consequences. To sober yourself up in such moments, it is useful to ask the question "So what?" For example:

• “I want to voice it, but what if other people don’t support me?” - and what?
• "I would like to go to this event, but I hardly know anyone there …" - so what?
• “I can forget what to say next during the presentation” - so what?

This simple express self-analysis allows you to understand: even in the most negative scenario, nothing terrible will happen to you. So, you can safely act.

Find an object to follow

Among the people around you, there are likely to be those who demonstrate confident behavior and high self-esteem. Take a closer look at them. Try to act like them. This is one way to adopt successful life principles and "copy" the level of confidence you desire.

4. Do what you like

Doing what you love is one of the most effective ways to boost your self-esteem. The hardest part here is finding a hobby that you really enjoy.

5. Be active

There is a very popular version that low self-esteem is a kind of passive aggression Causes of Passive-Aggressive Behavior. Someone says: "I don't want to!", "I won't!" And someone is afraid to voice their refusal aloud, and then it sounds: "I can't, I'm just small and weak." Not believing in yourself is often just a way to justify your own inaction, to blame others. But this method is destructive.

Low self-esteem is only cured by action. Action (even through fear) → success (even after one or two not very successful attempts) → increased self-confidence and self-confidence. This is the most effective remedy for self-dislike.