An extreme way to acquire or break habits

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

We often say that the road to global change is long. However, there is another method: to change your life abruptly, to try to do much more than planned, to shake yourself up, at one point starting to think differently.

Imagine bricks on a swing. Now they are all on the same side.

Changing something in ourselves, we seem to shift one brick to the opposite side of the swing. Some things have changed, but this habit will not take hold in you because there are too many bricks left on the other half of the swing.

What pulls you back:

Lifestyle;
the environment that facilitated the acquisition of the habit;
pressure from friends or acquaintances who are trying to get you back on track;
deep-rooted old habit.

To change, you need to move all the bricks to the other half at the same time. It seems that our imaginary swing now looks like this:

In fact, you still carry a big burden with you: cultural baggage, self-identification, habits and your past. Therefore, the swing looks like this:

Your extreme change has balanced what is pulling you back. Now the swing will get stuck in the ground, that is, the changes will take hold.

Examples of extreme changes

Example 1

You are used to shifting responsibility for everything that happens in your life to others. You want to change and you are trying to think like this:

Something in which I am still to blame myself, I must be responsible for some things.

That is, you take a small step, move one brick.

Wrong. The balance has not been reached. It takes extreme measures to make you feel like you are doing too much.

This is how you should think:

I am absolutely to blame for everything. I am guilty that the world is not what it should be, that the government does not suit me, and that those around me do not treat me the way I would like. My duty is to change everything that I don't like.

A bit too much, isn't it? It will seem to you that the swing looks like this:

You try to think in this way, sometimes you even succeed. But you are not letting go of the feeling that something is still happening through no fault of yours. This is normal, this is balance.

As it grows stronger, you will learn to take responsibility.

Example 2

You want to learn how to keep your home clean so that you don't feel ashamed to invite guests for a cup of coffee at any time. Raising the bar: the house must be as clean as a high-end hotel. And we strive to constantly follow this principle.

Example 3

You want to blog on a weekly basis. So, you have to try to upload articles every day.

Remember that extreme changes will require extraordinary willpower, so do not deal with habits at the same time, but one at a time. Only when you feel that the change is completely ingrained, begin the next habit.