How to overcome your fear of failure

Remember mastery comes with time

Once the elderly Pablo Picasso was sitting in a cafe and drawing something on a napkin. He did not notice with what trepidation the woman sitting next to him was looking at him. A couple of minutes later, the master finished his coffee, crumpled up a piece of paper and swung to send it to the trash can. The movement was interrupted by a question:

- Can I keep the napkin for myself? - the woman reacted instantly. - I will pay.

“Of course,” the artist replied. - It will cost you 20 thousand dollars.

- Excuse me, how much? You did the drawing in just two minutes.

“No, madam,” Picasso retorted. - It took me over 60 years.

Picasso lived 91 years old. He died in 1973 and by that time had amassed an impressive capital. His artistic legacy has become famous all over the world. The total number of works approached 50 thousand, among them were paintings, drawings, sculptures, ceramics, prints and tapestries.

Over the decades, Picasso honed his craft and eventually reached the point where he appreciated a careless quick sketch into a fortune, or at least made a good joke about it. In any case, the moral is on the surface: mastery comes with time. Therefore, in any business you have to tirelessly practice.

And to do this, you should not slow down or give up, even if there is a failure. Failure should be part of the comfort.

Face fear

Each of us was a child and did not think whether it was worth learning to walk at all. It doesn't matter that the first attempts ended in failure - we just carried on no matter what. They got up, took a step, fell, hurt themselves, maybe cried for a minute, and then tried again. But they never played in my head: "Yes, friend, you are damn awkward, walking is definitely not yours."

Obviously, the fear of failure comes as you get older. Sooner or later, each person begins to feel ashamed just at the thought of how his failures will become everyone's fun. Therefore, the majority throws out the lifebuoy in advance and is limited to what they have.

Of course, this framework fetters us. We have convinced ourselves that failure should be avoided. For this reason, every failed attempt sends a red stop signal to the brain: don't do it again. And while this reaction gives us a sense of security, it also prevents us from realizing our limitless potential.

Remember that the only way to become the best version of yourself is to be prepared for the fall. Every now and again. Success is inseparable from failure.

Focus on what you can control

The stoic philosopher Epictetus believed that a person should focus on internals - internal factors subject to control. These are, for example, character, values and behavior. He cannot control external factors - externalities, therefore it is irrational to worry about them. Externalities include the past, most of the natural world, thoughts and actions of other people.

There is only one way to peace of mind - to stop worrying about those things that are beyond our will.

Epictetus

This thought helps me overcome my fear of failure. Almost every time I’m about to write, a series of unpleasant thoughts floods my head: “Who are you anyway? Nobody is going to read this. My friend, your lyrics are poor. You just have nothing to say, right? Drop this business and do something else."

In the past, these fears have enslaved me. But over time, the understanding came that I am not thoughts, I am the one who hears them. And if so, then my thoughts are related to external things. I have no control over what is in my head right now, so there is no point in worrying about it.

On the other hand, my lyrics are internal. I can control them. Therefore, I make a decision and continue to improve my skills. I don't look back at doubts and type until I reach my goal.

Don't take someone else's opinion to heart

This is another part of my profession that usually becomes a big problem. You can imagine exactly what I mean if at least once in my life you have created something and shown it to the whole world.

Positive comments evoke good emotions. But the situation becomes dire if negative ones come along. If you get at least 100 pleasant reviews, the 101st, negative, will still settle in your memory.

So don't forget that what other people say are externalities that should be treated with a healthy dose of indifference. It is impossible to please everyone, so do not dissipate your strength and do not waste time on pointless attempts.

Output

From now on, every time you are overwhelmed by the fear of failure, remember the philosophical wisdom:

Think about the source of fear and let it go if it came from the outside and is not subject to you. Time is passing, so do not burn it in vain impulses to fix something.
If you realize that the object of concern sits within you, use it as a trigger. Stop thinking and get down to business.

Be a child learning to walk. Fall without caring how it looks or what others think. New attempt. And another one. And try again.

Evaluate success not in the dexterity with which you avoided mistakes, but in the effort to get the job done in spite of everything. Picasso created 50 thousand works of art to make the whole world talk about him. What are you ready for?

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist when childhood is gone.

Pablo Picasso