The Biggest Mistakes We Make At 30, And What They Teach Us

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

In their 30s, people often make serious mistakes, the consequences of which will be with them throughout their lives. Today we want to share with you the opinions of people who will talk about their mistakes and share the lessons they learned from them.

One Quora user asked a very important question: "What is the biggest mistake you made in your 30s, and what did it teach you?" The question caused a lively and heated discussion, the most interesting opinions of which we would like to share with you today.

We urge you to be as active as Quora users and leave your comments on the topic.

Don't sideline life

I believe that one of my biggest mistakes is that I spent too much time on work and career, overshadowing everything else. By everything else, I mean family, friends, and even my own health.

After 20 years and until recently (now I'm 35) I lived in this mode: wake up, go to work, come home and fall asleep, and the next day I get up just so that everything happens again.

I was completely oblivious to how such stressful conditions were detrimental to my health, and I did not pay enough attention to the relationship.

Looking back, I cannot remember something important and significant. These years were just an endless race for a false goal, which then seemed to be the most important.

So now I'm going to make up for everything I missed. I spent a lot of time to understand what is really important to me, but I am glad that it was not too late to realize it and I have a chance to live life the way I want it.

Take care of your health. This is the very first and most important priority. When you are 30 years old, and you already feel tired and worn out by life as a person, it sucks, believe me.

You will work your whole life. Youth only happens once in a lifetime. Don't waste this time. Do not waste time exclusively on work - communicate, arrange your personal life, do not limit yourself only to home and work. Let in 20 and even 30 years you will have something to remember.

Don't waste time with anger

I'm not sure if this is exactly the answer you are looking for, but I will say: the biggest mistake I made in my 30 years was anger.

I wasted too much of my time angry at bosses, colleagues, politicians, girls who dumped me, and just people who lied to me.

My anger was justified. Even now, looking back, I realize that I had good reasons for this, but at the same time I realize that my anger was a waste of time. And I did the damage only to myself, and not to those people with whom I was angry.

Appreciate the people in your life

I met an amazing girl that I really love. But very soon the fact that there is a really close person in my life, I began to take for granted. Even worse, my pride never allowed me to show her how dear she is to me. She fought for our relationship for a long time, but in the end she left me. She is now married to someone else.

We are still friends, we communicate often. It sounds like hell, but it's better than not seeing her at all.

What have I learned from this? Don't be round idiots. Pay attention to your loved one, every day, every moment show him how you love and appreciate him. And if you know you acted stupidly, then spit on damn pride and ask for forgiveness.

Don't compare yourself to others

My biggest mistake: I thought that when I turned 30, I would immediately be able to be on the top that I had dreamed of all my life. But I began to constantly compare myself with those who were younger than me and, as it turned out, much more successful. I had nothing, while others had a home in San Francisco, a thriving business, and a family.

Now I understand that I wanted to give up at the very beginning of the path only because someone there was more successful than me. Don't compare yourself to others and don't think that at 30 you can achieve everything. At 30, life does not end, but only begins.

Sometimes the path to happiness is through suffering

In my 30s, I made four fatal mistakes.

Mistake number 1. I was constantly postponing pregnancy for later. At first, I waited for the right time, and when the right time, according to my standards, came, I was offered a good job with great career prospects. Of course I agreed. And, naturally, I didn't want to go on maternity leave immediately after I got a new promising job.

After a few years, I still decided to get pregnant, but I couldn't. This was followed by a course of long-term treatment, I nevertheless became pregnant, but I had a miscarriage (it is impossible to describe in words how hard it was to go through). A year later, I got pregnant again, and then I made a second mistake, which I will never forgive myself.

Mistake number 2. Since I was always in good shape and tried to maintain it, I believed that I could continue to do jogging during pregnancy. When I was six months pregnant, my water broke while running.

Mistake number 3. I didn't fight for my child. Neither I nor my husband knew what to do, and I am still not sure if we were given the right advice. We were told that our child would not survive. I was injected with morphine during childbirth. I don't remember what happened after that. I don't know exactly what happened to my child. They just took him away. I felt guilty, I felt bad and ashamed, and still ashamed.

Mistake number 4. I turned my back on my husband instead of going through it with him. I felt wild pain and guilt and did not know how to deal with them. I moved away from my husband (from the man whom I loved and still love) and in the end we parted.

Life got better only when I turned 40. After 40, I got married again and had a child (at 43), and now we are a happy family of three. Did I have to go through all this hell to finally find happiness? Yes, no, maybe. I have no answer.

Don't forget friends

I had some good childhood friends with whom we grew up.

My wife didn't get along very well with some of them, and after my wedding, I started to distance myself from friends because I didn't want to upset her. I did not call them, did not invite them to visit, did not go with them to clubs and bars, did not go fishing with them. That is, I did not do anything that we did together before.

At that time, I didn't really think about it, I thought that I was doing the right thing, because they are like brothers to me, they must understand me.

18 years later, my marriage has fallen apart, and I really miss my good old friends. I tried to return our friendship, but so much time has passed, so much has changed in our life, and even when we see each other, friends seem insanely distant. I still hope to regain our friendship, but I understand that this will take time.

My advice to you is not to think of friends as brothers. Your brother will always be your brother, even if you hate him. A friend may not be your friend forever. Friendship requires constant attention and involvement.

The best time is now

My mistakes:

• Spent too much money on shoes instead of on travel.
• She did not continue her higher education.
• Didn't study martial arts.
• Didn't take family photos every year.

And you know what I understood? Don't waste time on regrets - start doing what you didn't have time to NOW!

Trust your feelings

I got married not because I loved a person, but because everyone around me (relatives, friends and acquaintances) said that he was a good guy and just adored me. He really was a good guy and loved me, but we were too different, next to this person I lost my self.

I'm not sure if this can be called a mistake: now we are divorced, and we have two children, without whom I cannot imagine my life. Thanks to this, I realized the main thing: trust your feelings and never make important decisions based on the opinions of other people.

Making mistakes is not the worst thing. The worst thing is that they cannot be fixed

1. I did not admit that I have depression, which is progressing more and more every day. Didn't ask for help. I missed an unreasonable amount of opportunities. Almost ruined my career.
2. Felt like 20 years old. Didn't have a serious relationship, had a promiscuous sex life, had countless parties and drank too much. I was constantly hanging out with "friends" who only contributed to my deviant behavior and did not teach me anything good.
3. I did not use my free time to get a second higher education or to learn a foreign language. Instead, I spent it with my aforementioned "friends".
4. Spent money on booze instead of investing it in a lucrative business.

If I continued to lead a similar lifestyle, then by the age of 40 I would be poor, disabled and seriously ill. Fortunately, I had a chance to reconsider my attitude towards life and start all over again.

But I still remember with sadness all the opportunities that I missed in my 30s.