How to build strong relationships

We all like to be liked. Everyone is pleased to be surrounded by people who are not indifferent, who value relationships. I'm sure everyone has their own unique story of how they found a bosom friend. For some, one meeting is enough for this, and some only after many years are able to discern something special in a familiar person.

We all define the word "friend" in different ways. In this article, I want to share with you the principles that will help you appreciate your loved ones more and find a common language with them.

1. Seek to understand first, and then to be understood

Everyone who knows the name Stephen Covey has probably recognized this principle. He is described in some detail in his book "". For me, he became the cornerstone of the relationship.

It's easy to build friendships with someone you have common interests with. But all of us are attracted by the dissimilarity. So I was always more interested in people whose opinion was at variance with mine. Unfortunately, communication with them often led to disputes, and this happened for one simple reason - I did not try to sincerely understand the person.

In my opinion, in order to build a strong relationship, regardless of whether you have common interests or not, you should always strive to find out what this person wants, what he strives for, who he sees himself as.

Try to be attentive to people in the process of communication and reckon with any opinion. Learning to understand a person without imposing your point of view can be the beginning of a strong friendship.

2. Make your choice

In I have already mentioned the passive role of some people in relationships. Let me remind you that you should always answer honestly to yourself: "Do you choose or are you chosen?"

I never expected that a line of interesting people would line up to me and offer a bosom friendship. I strengthened each weak connection with meetings, calls, letters, so that even fleeting acquaintances could be checked for the presence of points of contact.

I am sure that everyone in the environment will have people who seem interesting. But for some reason we are embarrassed to get to know them better. This is not the best strategy for making friends. Choose those you are interested in and do not be afraid to take the first step. Subsequently, your determination will pay off in full.

3. Be yourself

American singer Aretha Franklin shared her experience of making friends in Esquire magazine, which can be a very useful principle for many: “The best people in my life have always been those whom, when you first meet, you think:“Lord, what is this nutcase?”.

We are all different, each of us has our own tastes, habits and cockroaches in our heads. Undoubtedly, there are people who seem attractive in all respects, and there are those who, on the contrary, surprise with weirdness. But it is these oddities that help many people find and establish the strongest and most reliable relationships. This is because their individuality becomes something sacred, and those who are ready to accept it truly appreciate it.

Don't be afraid to show your uniqueness: whether it's vegetarianism, love of comics, or a collection of typewriters. As one of my acquaintances said: “My best friend is perfect, and this is not discussed. Point.

4. Be helpful

As a teacher, I am familiar with this principle because I put it at the heart of my approach to teaching. In order to attract and keep people around you, there are three proven ways:

Inspire.
Surprise.
Share.

When meeting with friends, I try to inspire them with a personal story, surprise them with interesting news or share a new look at something familiar.

Try to think in advance each time how to interest the interlocutor. It doesn't matter who it will be - an old acquaintance or a potential friend. Every time we give to others, we always discover something new for ourselves and strengthen our relationships.

5. Foundation for friendship

This is probably the most controversial of all the principles, because everyone chooses for himself what a long-term relationship should be based on. Many make friends at work, some share common hobbies, and some just meet by chance.

For me personally, a strong foundation for long-term friendly relations is the opportunity to develop, as well as the desire for new knowledge and discoveries. Why?

First, we all strive to develop, let each of us choose his own way for this. This is what is inherent in us by nature, and the level of understanding at which we all want to be useful to each other.

Secondly, the desire to become better, to achieve more and to learn new things is a process, not a result. From the moment you choose the path of development, it will always be present in your life.

The artist will not stop even after the hundredth painting, just as a real businessman will always look for new ways to apply his skills. Therefore, a friendship built on such a basis will always find a source of inspiration.

Finally

I want to believe that each of us chooses those with whom he goes through life. Sooner or later, fate lovingly surrounds us with the people we truly deserve.

I think that you will agree with me, because whatever the friend is, the most precious thing for us is the memories of the time that we spent together. And may you have more such moments.

I wish you success!