5 ways to boost your self-esteem

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

We will tell you how to increase self-esteem in order to become more confident, to endure life's difficulties, and to recover from emotional wounds faster.

It's good to have high self-esteem, but it's not easy to achieve. Part of the problem is that this indicator is unstable: one day it can skyrocket, and the next - there is nowhere to get lower. The situation is even more complicated when we try to evaluate ourselves in specific areas of life (family, sports, work). For example, if the dinner is not tasty enough, the chef will be much more upset than the person for whom cooking is not an important aspect of his identity.

It is important to know when to stop: overestimated self-esteem can make a person very vulnerable. He will feel great most of the time, but any criticism will cause a sharp reaction. And this greatly inhibits the psychological development of a person.

If you are still very far from such problems and would like to increase your own self-esteem, then follow our advice.

1. Use affirmations correctly

Affirmations - self-hypnosis formulas - are very popular, but they have a significant drawback. They often make people with low self-esteem feel even worse. Why? When self-esteem is underestimated, statements such as "I will achieve tremendous success!" strongly contradict the inner convictions of a person.

Oddly enough, affirmations most often work for people who already have everything in order with self-esteem.

But how do you make them work for you if your self-esteem is poor? Speak more believable formulas. For example, instead of "I will achieve great success!" tell yourself, "I'll try my best until I get what I want."

2. Define your areas of competence and develop them

Self-esteem is based on real achievement in areas of life that are important to you. If you are proud of yourself when you cook up a delicious dinner, invite guests more often and treat them to something delicious. If you are a good runner, apply for a sporting event and get ready for it. Determine what areas you are competent in and look for opportunities to highlight this.

3. Learn to accept compliments

People with low self-esteem are in dire need of compliments, but at the same time they do not know how to properly respond to them.

Accept compliments, even if they make you feel uncomfortable.

The best way to avoid the reflexive reaction of denying all the good things they say about you is to prepare a simple set of answers and practice saying them automatically every time you receive a compliment. For example, say "Thank you!" or "That's so nice of you." Over time, the urge to deny compliments will fade, and this is a clear indicator that your self-esteem is rising.

4. Stop criticizing yourself, be gentle

If you constantly criticize yourself, your self-esteem becomes even lower. To regain self-esteem, it is necessary to replace criticism with self-compassion.

Whenever you feel unhappy with yourself, ask yourself what you would say to your best friend in this situation. As a rule, we feel more compassion for our friends than for ourselves. But if you can learn to cheer yourself up in difficult circumstances, you can avoid lowering your self-esteem due to being critical.

5. Make sure of your own worth

The following exercise will help you regain your self-esteem after being hit hard.

List your qualities that are important in the context of the situation. For example, if you are denied a date, make a list of qualities that will help you build a good relationship in the long term (tolerance, caring, emotionality). If you were unable to get a promotion at work, indicate the traits that make you a valuable employee (responsibility, hard work, creativity). Then select one of the items on the list and briefly explain why you are proud of this quality and why others will appreciate it in the future.

Try this exercise once a week or when you need a push to boost your self-esteem.