How to convince people with social psychology

Take advantage of your body's response

Are you going to ask someone out on a date? Offer to go to a horror movie. We humans often misinterpret body signals. In social psychology, this is called arousal attribution error Cognitive, social, and physiological determinants of emotional state. … For example, our heart rate increases when we are anxious, but also when we are pleasantly aroused.

Psychologists have conducted experiments to test whether fear affects feelings of interest in someone. It turned out that although it is impossible to introduce emotions using this method, it is possible to strengthen the previously existing feelings. … This may be because people get aroused by an incomprehensible source and try to explain it in a situational context. …

Give something to get something in return

If you want to receive something from someone, you must first give something yourself. According to the rule of mutual exchange. we feel indebted to those who have done good for us until we reciprocate with them. Charitable organizations have long used this principle to increase the number of donations. A person is given a gift (it can be quite modest, like a ballpoint pen), and he feels obligated to give more. This helps to increase the amount of donated funds by almost 75%. …

But use this approach with caution. Conversely, in some situations, external rewards reduce the likelihood of a donation. … This is because the reward weakens the inner altruistic urges: it seems to you that you are getting some kind of compensation for charity. It also makes it difficult to look generous in the eyes of others. …

Choose your words correctly

For example, in a dispute, the choice of pronouns. can significantly affect the reaction of the interlocutor. Starting a sentence with the words “you” or “you” (“You should have finished this report”) will make the other person more angry. Better to start with the pronoun “I” (“I'm nervous because the report is not finished”). In the second case, you no longer blame the interlocutor.

Another language trick is to use nouns rather than verbs when discussing the result you want.

In one experiment, participants were asked how important it was for them to “be a voter in an election” and how important it was for them to “vote in an election”. Of those who spoke of themselves as a voter, 11% more took part in the elections. …

You can also use body language to build trust and sympathy: copy the pose. interlocutor and look in the eyes. … And even more often call him by name. …

Ask for something unnecessary

When a person has agreed to one small request, they are more likely to. will agree to a second, larger one. Which he would not have done if the big request had been made separately.

It will seem to a person that he does not feel pressure from the outside, but agrees out of disposition to the beggar or his request.

This works even when the second request is completely different in type from the first, even when two different people are asking.

There is another technique: first, ask for something prohibitively large, to which the person will definitely never agree, and then make a second, more moderate request. This will also increase your chances of getting what you want. The person will feel obligated to compromise., because you, too, seemed to have made a concession for him.