Why do you need emotional cleaning at home and how to do it

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Your favorite face cream, a trendy bestseller, and an elegant service can all subtly spoil your mood.

What is emotional cleaning and why is it needed

I'll start with a little confession: there is a little bit of guilt living next to my bed.

It exists in the form of a magazine that I bought to record the first months of my baby's life. I had ambitious plans - to make detailed notes about all the first impressions of the baby, because they pass so quickly. But then a pandemic began, a lot of cases fell on me, and the magazine remained undiscovered. What should have made me happier has become a source of guilt that I see every time I wake up and go to bed.

We clean the house regularly. But along with the usual garbage, it is important to take out the "emotional" one, which is often stored right under our noses. Getting rid of such unusual trash is emotional cleaning. And as soon as you spend it, you will immediately feel a surge of lightness and positiveness.

What feelings can live in a house

Guilt, shame, anxiety, regret - all kinds of feelings and emotions can quietly settle in a house. Of course, each of them is sometimes useful, but the constant neighborhood with them is depressing.

Think: even if we only look at the source of one of these feelings once a day, we see it 30 times a month! And this does not teach us new things and does not help to work out these feelings, but only sucks happiness and energy out of us.

Let's talk about the emotions that most often live in the house, and figure out where to look for them.

1. Feeling stuck

This emotion has no specific name, but I think you have experienced it more than once. This is the same feeling that your life is paused and you are not making any significant progress.

This often happens when we are waiting for something. For example, you realize that you are already ready for a serious relationship, but you just can't meet the right person. Or you have reached a ceiling in your career and do not know where to go next.

The feeling that you are "stuck" is expressed through laziness, so this feeling lives in unfinished corners of the house. When I was struggling with infertility, I did not equip the bedroom, convincing myself that there was no point in making repairs if we still move after my pregnancy.

Such a "temporary" life constantly reminds us that we are at a dead end, where we can be endlessly. Waking up for three years in a bedroom with bare walls, I realized that it was not my dream of becoming a mother, but my whole life was on pause, waiting for something.

When we take responsibility for our home, we take responsibility for our present. It is possible and necessary to dream and plan for the future, but happiness should not depend only on this. You can hope for a happy future by creating a happy present now.

Where to look for this feeling in the house

• Places with unfinished decor or renovation.
• Pictures and posters standing against the wall or stored in a closet that you have not hung.
• Items that you can use right now, but keep for a special occasion.
• Items that you have outgrown mentally or physically.

2. Wines

It arises when we feel that we should have done something, but for some reason did not.

I have a habit of leaving things in visible places to remind myself to do it. For example, I might leave a postcard on the table to sign and then bump into it all the time. It distracts me from my work and makes signing the postcard from a fun task to a tedious task.

Guilt can also arise from feelings of betrayal in relation to oneself. This mostly happens when you break promises you made to yourself. If you bought dumbbells to exercise regularly and then quit, the mere sight of them can be disheartening. In this case, it is better to find a new way to train or put the dumbbells in the far corner until you feel like playing sports again.

Where to look for this feeling in the house

• Unfinished business and projects.
• Items bought for a hobby that you never got your hands on.
• Things related to old habits that you gave up a long time ago.
• Items that you bought but never used.
• A stack of books that you wanted to read and then lost interest in them.
• Gifts that you don't like but feel obligated to leave behind.

3. Shame

It lurks in the “vulnerable” parts of your home, where your personality truly unfolds. Favorite places of shame where you may face judgment from family or others. It's in your wardrobe, bathroom, or kitchen. That being said, shame is one of the most sinister emotions, because it often hides under the guise of happiness.

Let's start with the shelf in the bathroom, which contains cosmetics for face and body care. Does this ritual really help you feel better? Or is it just a set of tools that should erase wrinkles from your face, because they make you less beautiful and less worthy of happiness?

Let's take a look at the kitchen. This Diet Recipe Book - Are You Using It To Start Eating Well? Or to make your body more fit for strict beauty standards?

In reality, the truth is often somewhere in between. However, if every time you see certain objects, you feel worse, it may be worth getting rid of them.

Albums with opera arias, documentaries on complex topics, a stack of smart magazines and non-fiction books - are you really interested in all this? If you like romance novels and hit-parade pop music much more, get rid of the things you think you should like. This will help you overcome your inner shame and fill your space with your favorite items, and therefore happiness.

Where to look for this feeling in the house

• Clothing "for weight loss" - things that have long been small for you, but which you still will not throw away.
• Things that you don't like, but which you must wear in order to look presentable in the eyes of others.
• Books, music CDs and other items that you should like, but in fact are absolutely not interesting to you.
• Cosmetics and care products that remind you of "defects" in your appearance.
• Diet and exercise-related items that you dislike.
• Scales and magnifying mirrors.

4. Confusion

If you feel confused when looking at your apartment, you may need to clean up and do household chores.

My friend and part-time personal growth coach Enise Kavanagh calls this "tolerance" - things that you put up with in your home, even though they suck the energy out of you.

It can be a wobbly chair, a burnt out light bulb, a photo from a vacation that you have long been going to hang on the wall, a sweater with a torn off button. All of these items remind you to do your household chores, and your home is slowly transforming from a cozy nest to a giant to-do list.

Broken objects also carry confusion. When the closet door barely closes and the bookshelves are about to fall off, this indicates a lack of organization in your life.

Think about what you need to work on. Maybe you've started cooking more, which means you need to move the spices to a closer drawer. Or your kids are grown up and it's time to set aside more closet space for their belongings.

Creating a new system for organizing space will help you not only deal with household responsibilities, but also lay the foundation for a more comfortable life.

Where to look for this feeling in the house

• A pile of unassembled things.
• Broken items.
• Items that need to be changed, such as the batteries in the remote control, or items that require extra care, such as door hinges, that need to be greased with oil to prevent them from squeaking.
• Methods of organizing things or spaces that have stopped working.

5. Anxiety

Little things that keep you from fully relaxing can trigger feelings of anxiety. Perhaps everything in your home is so neat and formal that it is difficult for you to just flop on the sofa and fully relax. Or you have a lot of furniture with sharp corners that you constantly hit with your little finger.

Personally, I recently replaced all of my thin water glasses with thicker ones and was surprised at how much calmer my home life has become. Now I'm not afraid to accidentally break glasses every time I take them out of the dishwasher.

Where to look for this feeling in the house

• Unstable or wobbly things.
• Strange things that don't fit and are awkward to handle, such as a chair with too low a seat.
• Objects that make annoying sounds or objects that are unpleasant to the touch.
• Objects with sharp corners.
• Fragile things that you are constantly afraid to break.
• Formal and artsy décor that needs to be handled with great care, such as the same sofa where you forbid guests to drink red wine.

6. Regret

If you look at your apartment and see reminders of a relationship that didn't work out or other frustrations in your life, it will be difficult to work through your feelings of regret and move forward. Although sometimes it can be beneficial, because it reminds you that you need to live in the present.

Another common source of regret is spending money. If you've spent money on something you don't use, or overpaid for something, this item will be a constant reminder of your self-control problems. Unfortunately, storing such things will not give you money back. If you have the opportunity, it is better to take a lesson from this situation and get rid of unnecessary items.

Where to look for this feeling in the house

• Things that remind you of a relationship that didn't work out.
• Useless items that you've spent tons of money on.
• Things that bring up memories of past mistakes and disappointments.