How strong people solve problems

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Why do some people with dignity endure the most serious trials, while others give up and complain about life because of minor difficulties? Konstantin Smygin, the founder of the business books project in brief, shares with the readers of Lifehacker the conclusions from Ryan Holiday's book How Strong People Solve Problems.

What is this book about?

About the art of turning problems into opportunities. It is not just about achieving success despite the circumstances, but about the ability to do so that the obstacle standing in the way becomes part of the path. It is this approach that distinguishes strong people.

What kind of strong people are we talking about? Who are they?

Who do we usually think of as strong? People who cope with difficulties with dignity, do not give up, turn problems into opportunities. Such men and women have lived at all times.

• Did you know that the future great Athenian orator Demosthenes was sickly from childhood and suffered from a speech impediment? As a child, he lost his parents, and his guardians plundered his inheritance. But this did not break him. He dreamed of becoming an orator and studied every day. He fulfilled his dream and punished his offenders in court.
• Did you know that future oil tycoon John Rockefeller was the son of an alcoholic and a criminal and started working at age 16 for minimal wages?
• Did you know that at an old age, inventor Thomas Edison survived the fire of his own laboratory, where most of his work burned down? During the fire, he asked his son to call his friends and mother to share the spectacle with him, and said that they just got rid of the excess garbage. By the way, few people know that Edison was practically deaf.
• Did you know that the American writer Helen Keller was blind and deaf due to a disease in her early childhood? But this did not prevent her from leading an active political and social life and helping others.
• Did you know that Viktor Frankl, a world renowned psychologist, spent several years in concentration camps and lost almost his entire family there? But he did not give up and continued in the post-war period to do what filled his life with meaning, reaching the age of 92.
• Did you know that Abraham Lincoln suffered from severe depression all his life and was on the verge of suicide several times? He grew up in poverty, lost his mother and his beloved woman, many times experienced defeats in his political life, but this did not prevent him from becoming a legend.

Most of us have never faced the horrors these people experienced. But often we panic, go crazy, and complain about injustice on much less serious occasions. We are stopped and pissed off by minor obstacles, such as criticism, traffic jams, or the Internet that is not working. Fear, despair, resentment, confusion are typical reactions to difficulties.

But no one promised us that life would be fair and unhindered. We all have to face difficulties. It depends on us how we react to them.

Strong people are distinguished by the fact that they show steadfastness and endurance, control their emotions. They do not give up in the face of problems and, moreover, make problems a part of their path.

How to master the approach to the difficulties of strong people?

Strong people have a belief system that they follow to help them keep a clear head and deal with adversity. To cope with difficulties like strong people, we need the same belief system. We do not need to invent anything new, because this system is the basis of the Stoic philosophy.

Oh no, just not philosophy …

Unfortunately, in the mass consciousness, philosophy is associated with thick books covered with dust, black-and-white portraits of philosophers and abstract reasoning that has nothing to do with what we have to deal with on a daily basis. But this is not a philosophy. Stoic teachings are surprisingly pragmatic.

Despite the fact that Stoicism originated in Ancient Greece, its principles can enrich life and modern man.

How?

The teachings of the Stoics are aimed at accepting life in all its manifestations, at developing resilience and the correct attitude to adversity, at taming one's emotions and controlling one's reactions.

Ryan Holiday talks about this teaching not as a philosophical concept, but as a practical tool. He distinguishes three components in the approach of strong people: perception, action and will.

The first component is perception. What does it mean?

Perception is how we see and interpret what is happening. If we are emotionally involved in a situation, we do not see the whole picture and act to our detriment. Therefore, it is important to correctly adjust your perception in order to be able to take control of your emotions. This does not mean to stop feeling anything, it means to become the master of your feelings, not their servant.

And what does it give?

Difficult situations happen all the time, we need restraint and composure to cope with them. By staying calm, you will always be head and shoulders above those who panic. In addition, the correct perception helps to see new opportunities in the crisis. Most people perceive problems as terrible, but not those we think are strong. Correct perception helps to see the whole situation as a whole and to focus on what we can change. Emotional stability and equanimity are the key to correct actions in difficult situations.

How can I learn this?

There are no special secrets here: practice and mental training aimed at taming the emotions is important. Holiday talks about several methods of the Stoics: to restore objectivity, calling everything by its proper name (wine is sour grape juice); in difficult situations, imagine what you would advise a person with the same problems as yours. We often give smart advice on how to behave properly to others, but when it comes to us, we behave stupidly and irrationally. It is worth withdrawing, reducing emotional involvement, and the right decision will not be long in coming.

The second part of the stoic approach is action

Action is a must, Holiday says. You cannot hide from problems, you need to act, overcome obstacles and paint them in the color you want. The author cites the example of Viktor Frankl, who believed that we should not wait for an answer to the question "What is the meaning of life?" - the world asks us this question. And our answer is in our actions: perseverance, sanity, patience and focus.

Two other important action-related ideas that Holiday talks about are understanding what our mistakes tell us and understanding that any action matters. There is no work unworthy of us. By doing something half-heartedly, we degrade.

But action is not always literal action. Sometimes it's better to agree with your opponent initially. Then you will rather persuade him to your point of view than when you persistently prove him wrong. The best tactic is to turn the actions of other people against themselves, being able to step aside in time.

The third component is will

By will, the majority understands the desire to receive something. But Holiday clarifies the difference between such will and will as understood by the Stoics. Will as desire is very fragile and unreliable. The real guarantee of strength is in another will - in resistance to influences and flexibility, the ability to find meaning in obstacles.

We live in a world with the illusion that we can control everything. Modern technology is rooting this delusion in us. When something terrible happens, we refuse to believe and are shocked. But isn't all life unpredictable? Any minute can be the last. It is the will that helps us to live in such an unpredictable world.

Isn't that a gloomy view of things?

The more we shut ourselves off from the truth, the more we lose power. The paradox is that accepting our own mortality enriches our lives.

The ancient Stoics contemplated death and prepared themselves for the unpredictability of the world. This helped them stay calm in the most difficult situations.

Many people ask: what is the point in life if death awaits us? But, from the point of view of stoicism, death, on the contrary, gives meaning to life.

Dedicating the time of our lives to empty pursuits, we live as if we are immortal.

Reminders of the finiteness of your own life help you to concentrate on the main thing. Even the fact of one's own mortality can be useful.

Another paradox is that our lives become richer when we devote ourselves to what takes us beyond our petty selfish interests.

What is the practical use of this?

Problems won't catch you off guard. You can use this approach in business, at work, or in your personal life. A new business, a new relationship, the birth of a child, any pleasant event inspires us with a burst of enthusiasm. But, when something does not go as we imagined, it pisses us off. Why not prepare in advance, because it is safe to say that no matter what you start, you will face obstacles.

Before starting a new project, imagine that it will fail. Imagine what difficulties will arise in a relationship, at work, in raising a child. Why might this happen? What will go wrong? What will you do to provide for what can be foreseen, and what will you do if something happens that you cannot influence? When difficulties really arise, you will be ready for them, you will have a backup plan, or at least you will be mentally prepared for them. You will mobilize forces faster. This approach is like a vaccine: it helps to build antibodies to difficulties.

Should you read the book?

The book is written in simple language, it contains many interesting and inspiring stories of strong people. This book is a good alternative to many overly optimistic books on self-development and personal effectiveness, the main message of which is limited to the phrase “You can! Believe in yourself and everything will work out."

If positive thinking has led you to nothing but disappointment, pay attention to the wisdom of the Stoics who have not turned a blind eye to the hardships of life.

If you are interested in this teaching, then the book is suitable as a first acquaintance with its principles. But for people more deeply familiar with stoicism, it is unlikely to be of interest.

Nevertheless, the big plus of the book is that it reminds: wisdom and philosophy are not only abstract reflections, but also an effective practical tool for everyday life.

How Strong People Solve Problems by Ryan Holiday