Productive Confrontation, or How to Benefit from Conflict

Anger, fear, despair and frustration - conflicts are always accompanied by strong negative emotions. We are hurt and hurt, we want it to end as soon as possible. But in any conflict there is a constructive beginning, which can become an impetus for development. We invite you to learn more about the nature of conflicts and strategies of behavior in them.

What is conflict

Psychologists, sociologists, political scientists and philosophers are engaged in the study of conflicts. There is even a separate discipline - conflict management. There are dozens of definitions of the concept of "conflict" in the scientific literature. Here is the most typical one.

Conflict is an acute way of resolving contradictions in interests. These contradictions can arise both between individuals (interpersonal conflicts) or their groups (intergroup conflicts), and within the individual (intrapersonal conflict).

Until the middle of the twentieth century, a negative attitude towards conflicts prevailed in the scientific community and in the public consciousness. It was believed that they carry hostility and aggression, destroy social ties, so conflicts are best avoided.

In 1956, Lewis Coser's book The Functions of Social Conflict was published. It became a bestseller in the United States. Based on the philosophical ideas of Georg Simmel, the sociologist came to the conclusion that social inequality in society and conflicts on this basis are inevitable, and conflict as a way to resolve contradictions is useful.

Conflict, like cooperation, has social functions. A certain level of conflict is by no means necessarily dysfunctional, but is an essential component of both the process of the formation of the group and its sustainable existence. Lewis Coser

The American psychologist, founder of the theory of conflict resolution, Morton Deutsch, went even further. He divided confrontations into destructive and productive ones. In destructive conflicts, the situation is constantly escalating, the number of participants is increasing, the methods of struggle are becoming tougher. Productive conflicts, on the other hand, are helpful in resolving the problem.

Modern psychology views conflict in a constructive manner. It is believed that if you learn to manage them, you can benefit from them.

Conflict positive features

Discharge … Due to constant stress, there is a time bomb inside each of us. If emotions are not given an outlet, you can "explode". Small conflicts help relieve inner tension and prevent antisocial behavior.
Reset "masks" … In a conflict situation, the true face of a person is revealed. Even a close friend can show himself from a completely unknown side, and not always a good one. Social conflicts teach you to better understand people and form a social circle more thoroughly.
Rallying … If we are talking about intergroup confrontation or conflict between an individual and a group, then the struggle unites the members of the social cell. Common interests and a common "enemy" unite the collective.
An incentive to improve … Conflict is a signal that the relationship is at an impasse and, in order to maintain it, you need to work on yourself. For a sane person, a conflict situation is an impetus for development.

How to behave in a conflict

According to which scenario the conflict will develop - destructive or productive - depends on the behavior of the participants.

American psychologists Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann have developed a two-dimensional model of the strategy of human behavior in conflict. They proceeded from the fact that in any social conflict, each participant evaluates and correlates his own interests with the interests of the opponent, and they identified five main ways of interaction as strategies. It is withdrawal, concession, struggle, compromise and cooperation.

Leaving (or dodging) characterized by the fact that a person does not want to defend his views and participate in disputes. It is easier for him to get away from solving the problem - "figure it out yourself." Such behavior is considered justified when the subject of the conflict is so insignificant that it is not worth the time and effort.

Assignment (or adaptation) - This is a strategy in which a person is ready to sacrifice his own interests for the sake of the interests of an opponent. The cause may be self-doubt or low self-esteem. This model of behavior is considered normal if the participant in the conflict wants to emphasize the value of the relationship with the opponent.

Capable of struggle (or coercion) a person thinks like this: "My opinion is also wrong." He uses all his strength, connections and authority to overwhelm his opponent. The principle applies here: either I am right and you obey me, or - goodbye.

If one side to a certain extent accepts the point of view of the other, we can talk about compromise … In fact, this is a strategy of mutual concessions, when each participant satisfies only a part of his interests and, as a result, a balance is achieved. The individual's ability to compromise is highly valued. However, due to the half-heartedness of such solutions, compromise often leads to new conflicts.

The fifth strategy is cooperation … Here rivals respect each other. Everyone has their own ideas about black and white, which means that one must reckon with the interests of the opponent. The parties are ready for dialogue and are looking for a common solution to the problem that suits everyone.

The parties to the conflict rarely adhere to any one strategy. As a rule, one model of behavior replaces another. The following video demonstrates this. There, the young man began with a struggle, then made some concessions and, finally, moved on to cooperation.

Psychologist's comment:

Any conflict is the defense of personal interests, unwillingness to understand and listen to the opponent's point of view. But in order to resolve the problem situation, it is necessary that one side (ideally both) realizes the futility of such a confrontation and is ready to end it.

In the video, we see a conflict between two parties: the main character and the artificial intelligence of the car. And each of them tries to solve it in his own way. The protagonist addresses a third party. This is a fairly standard strategy: one can cite as an example a school where, in any conflict situation, children turn to the teacher, or spouses who argue in the psychotherapist's office. A prerequisite for this strategy: the third party must have authority for both sides.

The machine offers its own tactics for getting out of the conflict. Psychologists call it the expansion of the spiritual horizon of the disputants. The point is to take the conflicting people out of the framework of subjective perception, to make them assess the situation as a whole and the possible consequences of the conflict. In our case, artificial intelligence makes the protagonist see the positive aspects of the situation: avoiding an accident, attracting the attention of beautiful girls.

The biggest obstacle to reaching agreement between the parties is the negative attitude towards the opponent. This means that the first step towards resolving the conflict is to recognize the existence of contradictions and the fact that the situation has not only negative but also positive aspects.

Any confrontation can be productive. For a conflict situation to be beneficial, choose the right strategy of behavior. It's okay to be angry. But it is important to pull yourself together in time, see opportunities for development and move on to cooperation.