12 important questions to help you understand yourself

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Answering these questions honestly is essential to self-discovery. And they will also tell you what you are really striving for and where to move on.

At the graduation ceremony in a French pastry school, in addition to the main diploma, I was awarded in an additional category - for the ability to ask the right questions. Indeed, during the entire training, I clarified the production processes with the teachers and tried to restore causal relationships in order to understand why we get what we get at the output: color, consistency, texture. The pastry chef is not the one who can cook strictly according to the recipe, but the one who knows how you can deviate from the recipe and what will happen if you deviate incorrectly.

In general, one way or another, but even then the teachers noticed that the ability to ask questions distinguished me from other students. And only after almost six years I realized this myself. From post to post, I asked myself and my readers questions. Over time, the questions have become part of the list below. […] Despite the seeming simplicity, thinking about them takes a lot of time, sometimes a couple of weeks. It can be difficult and scary to answer them. But these answers are priceless. What a Zen then and how, finally, sleep well! This is an amazing opportunity to look at yourself from the outside, deal with your cockroaches and try to figure out where to go next. I will explain how to work with them and why each question is needed.

1. What is your name, how old are you, what city do you live in, what do you do?

A very important question for self-identification and a starting point. My name is Masha, I am 25 years old, I live in Milan and work as a model. Or: my name is Tanya, I'm 37, I live in Kaliningrad and work as an economist. Write, and then look detached: is this how you would like to introduce yourself? Is this where you would like to be now?

2. Describe your life in three formats:

• one sentence;
• in one paragraph seriously (as if you had to tell an investor about yourself in an elevator in 30 seconds);
• one paragraph of fun (like introducing yourself to a group of friends or at a party).

When you start answering this simple question, your whole life flashes before your eyes. You suddenly see yourself as a book. You know, Richard Branson in an interview with Vladimir Pozner said that everyone should write a book about themselves, because each story is unique. And when you do this task, you write something like your very short memoirs. You take a lump of life and cut off everything unnecessary from it, like Michelangelo.

Take your time answering this question. Weigh it, think: what is the main thing for you? What is your life about?

I'll show you how to answer, using my example.

Telling about yourself in one sentence

My name is Lena Volodina, I run the largest women's website in Russia, I blog about self-development, and I write the book Zen in the City.

Self-introduction in one paragraph (seriously)

My name is Lena Volodina. I graduated from NSU Faculty of Journalism. In the fourth year, she became the editor-in-chief of the largest shopping guide in Novosibirsk. Now I am the head of the largest women's website in Russia. Certified Journalist and Certified Pastry Chef is a graduate of the French pastry school Alain Ducasse. Over the past two years, she has been leading an unusual project - "Atelier of Eclairs". I am writing a book, blogging about self-development. I'm talking about how to understand yourself, how to achieve a lot and at the same time go with the flow without planning. I teach myself to ask myself the right questions.

Self-story in one paragraph (frivolous)

My name is Lena, I have pupils of different sizes, like David Bowie, porcelain skin, long legs, poor eyesight and a good sense of humor. I shoot funny "stories", and in general I'm never bored with me. And I can also motivate, even lying on the couch.

Try it yourself. What kind of story will you make?

3. Who did you dream of being as a child?

[…] Surprisingly, how easily we part with childhood dreams and in 20 years we can hardly remember our incredible fantasies.

4. When and how did you decide who to study?

The choice of a profession is a turning point in the life of almost every person. The answer to this question is the opportunity to stop and remember how the choice took place, between what and what you chose, whether your parents put pressure on you and what would you choose if you decided on your own.

5. Where did you work and what did you do?

It is very important to answer this question not in a formalized manner, as in a resume, but in simple human language. So, how would you explain what and why you are doing, to yourself, and not to the recruiter. There is no task for you to be hired after these answers. There is a task to better understand yourself, your motivation and feelings.

6. Where did you see yourself at the age of 15? Which of this has come true?

If in childhood fantasies are practically not based on anything, then in adolescence we have more realistic ideas about adulthood. What should you be now? And what have you become? How big is the gap between expectations and reality?

7. How do you see yourself and your life in 10-15 years?

Another starting point: how do you see your future now, when you have already tried your hand, realized what you like, what would you like to do? How would you like to celebrate, say, your 40th birthday?

8. What are your strengths and weaknesses?

Answer the way you would answer yourself, not a recruiter in an interview.

Strengths are generally straightforward. First, you have to answer it during interviews. Secondly, it's pretty easy to say something good about yourself.

The weaknesses are more difficult. At the interview, it is customary to answer such a question "perfectionism". That is, to talk about weaknesses as strengths. Like, I love so much to bring everything to an ideal state that I exhaust myself and those around me. Who doesn't want to hire a person who loves to do everything flawlessly!

Fortunately, this is not for résumés and interviews. And for an honest conversation with yourself. Weaknesses are what is important to identify and what you need to work with later. Here are examples of some of the answers I've heard from various people:

• “Inability to wait, impatience. Waiting is the worst thing for me. Inconsistency: I may lose interest in the activity. This is probably the main disadvantage. Reliability ".
• "Increased conscientiousness, I take everything to heart, I react strongly to criticism, self-flagellation, low self-esteem." […]

9. What do you enjoy doing at work and in life?

For most of our adult life, we do what we have to do. What is expected of us. We act by inertia and give little thought to what we really like. This question is needed in order for us to remember: what are we really interested in?

What you like to do is a very important question for self-determination. Understand what occupation gives you pleasure. What would you be doing if you had no other worries. Try to simulate the situation: imagine that you were given 10 million dollars and said: "Do what you want!" What would you spend it on? But most importantly, what would you do when you bought all the apartments, cars, yachts, would you get another expensive education? What would you do then?

Now remember what you really do. As a rule, internal conflicts, the feeling “I am out of place” arise from the contrast “I love / do”. Ideally, what you do, what you love to do, and what you do best are one and the same thing. But in life it happens more often as in the well-known demotivator: "And remember, girls: young, handsome, smart, rich, funny and not greedy - these are six different men!"

10. What are you proud of?

Here it is necessary to talk about specific deeds and achievements. You can, of course, be proud of your family or even your origin, but this can hardly be called your merit, this is a given with which you live.

Difficulty answering this question is another marker of low self-esteem. If it seems to you that you have not done anything like this in your life, keep returning mentally to this question until you find the answer.

11. What do you regret?

“I spent my best years on you” is a phrase that can be addressed not only to a man. More often than not, people regret the time spent on education or work that did not live up to the hopes pinned on it:

• “I regret that I didn’t go to college to become a teacher of fine arts, that I didn’t study at an art school. I regret that I succumbed to my mother's pressure and my desire to be a rebel."
• "I would like to be more effective in my student years, but without a vector it would hardly be possible."

In fact, no matter what you answer to this question, worrying about the events of the past is meaningless. Because they cannot be changed. But you can change your attitude towards them. I am convinced that any experience is given to us for a reason. And in the end, even from mistakes (or especially from mistakes), you can get a lot of useful information.

I remember how my friend was going somewhere with the children and my daughter started crying because she forgot the doll at home. And then a friend said: “Masha, we won't be back for the doll anyway, so you can continue whining now or calm down. What do you choose: suffer or rejoice? " Masha thought about it and answered: "Happy, mom." In my opinion, a great example of responding to life's circumstances. We do not always choose what happens to us, but we can choose how to react to it.

12. What questions haunt you?

It's about existential issues, not “Where did I put my higher education diploma after all?” What worries you over the past six months? What questions do you ask yourself? Should I change jobs? In which direction is it better to develop? What if you don't like anything? What if you like everything at once, what to choose? The last two questions are the most common.

Take your time, think well and answer these questions honestly. In the book "Zen and the City" you will find more techniques and tools that will help you choose the most important things in your life, give up unnecessary things and become happier.