A simple skill to help you better understand people

What are objects of attention

Attention is the selective focus of perception on a particular object. Objects that are of paramount importance for a person at the moment fall into the area of attention.

Each of us has an object of attention at one time or another. It does not always coincide with where our gaze is directed. For example, we communicate with someone and notice that a person who is interesting to us has entered the office. And it seems that we are looking in the other direction, but the object of attention is him. We listen attentively and peer into his reactions, although we are conducting a dialogue with another person.

Sometimes the object of attention coincides with what we are doing, but usually it does not. Unfortunately, we perform most of the actions automatically.

Recently, the smartphone has become increasingly the object of attention.

If you learn to recognize the objects of attention and control them, then you can understand when and why a person is cheating, what he will take the next moment, why he does so.

How to learn to manage attention

This skill is trained by observation. For artists and directors, training never ends. You can observe at any time, no matter what you are doing. Look carefully at any person and answer the question: "Where is his object of attention now?" Then you will be able to understand the motives of his actions.

For example, a young man was engaged in a lively dialogue and suddenly came out to call. It is illogical. But if you understand that the object of attention is a girl who has just left the room, then everything falls into place. The behavior of a young man turns out to be logical and consistent.

Konstantin Stanislavsky theater director, actor and teacher

There are people who are naturally observant. They, against their will, notice and firmly capture in the memory everything that happens around. At the same time, they know how to choose the most important, interesting, typical and colorful from the observed. Listening to such people, you see and understand what escapes the attention of people who are not observant, who do not know how to look, see and speak figuratively about what they have perceived in life.

You can train this skill in any situation. This is very interesting, because there is nothing more curious than people and their inner world. It takes 21 days to get it. After that, you can perform it automatically.

How it comes in handy in life

Helps you communicate more effectively

Observing the object of attention allows you to be more effective in communication and negotiations. If you notice that the interlocutor does not listen and thinks about his own, then you can change your behavior: stop talking or invite him to leave. If you see that something has happened to an employee and he cannot concentrate on work, you should either change the degree of impact or approach. In this case, it is better to postpone the task than to redo it later.

Many do not understand by the face, look, timbre of voice, in what state the interlocutor is, they do not know how to listen and really hear. Because of this, it is not possible to build effective communication.

When you begin to notice where a person's object of attention is, you will be able to manage negotiations and more effectively build a strategy depending on the state and mood of the interlocutor.

Helps Relieve Excitement

This method helps to get rid of the anxiety during public speaking. When we are on stage, the object of attention at the moment is ourselves. In this case, the excitement covers the head, there is a tremor, dry throat, red spots. The worst thing is that the head becomes empty, the text of the report is forgotten.

But you just need to set yourself a goal in relation to the viewer, a super task, as Stanislavsky said, and the excitement goes away. Directors help artists do this with powerful verbs.

Alexander Mitta Film director, author of the book "Cinema between Heaven and Hell".

The director can always find a verb that summarizes this action. Long explanations do not help much; concrete action verbs lead to the goal. They are called the "golden key". They are good at helping actors develop their role in a scene emotionally.

Here are some examples. Character actions should not be closely related to the text. Words lie, and actions express genuine desires and motivations. For actions to become active, use the verbs of active action when working with actors:

drag to your side;
bewitch;
prove superiority;
be important, present yourself as important;
don't let your partner change your path;
evaluate by examining the situation;
confess;
threaten;
instruct;
tease.

At the Public Speaking Institute, we analyzed how effective verbs influence. The man enters the stage. He has a purpose, such as inspire, despise, plead. The task is to silently show emotion with a look and body. Everyone coped with this task.

Then we asked to focus on how the person looks and transfer the object of attention to yourself. No one could stand for more than 30 seconds. The subjects fiddled with their clothes, straightened their hair, became covered with spots, some even cried. It's unbearable to just stand on stage when the object of attention is yourself. But when you have a goal, when you are focused on completing a task, the audience does not bother.

The next time you feel anxious, try focusing on a different object of attention. You will notice how immediately you become calmer.

Helps to relax and get rid of obsessive thoughts

Stanislavsky believed that a person is a psychophysical being: the psyche constantly affects physics, and physics - on the psyche.

Imagine: you came home from work and lay down to rest. After that, they got up, but felt even more broken. All because thoughts were spinning in my head, the brain worked, physics worked together with the psyche.

But observing people and looking for their objects of attention will help relieve tension. You focus on guessing their thoughts, at which point a reboot occurs. The brain will begin to process information, and the body will come to its aid. As a result, an internal redistribution of energy will occur, the tension will move to other zones. And after relaxation, they will be much more actively involved in work.

As soon as the thoughts of another person become more interesting to you than your own, then the problem that occupied you will be resolved much faster.

Help prevent crime

The habit of automatically marking objects of attention of others can protect against pickpockets. So, she saved me in a crowded subway.

I noticed that I became the object of attention of a gray-haired man with glasses. Suddenly, an unexpected thug from behind pushed me into the arms of this old man. Then I realized that even though he was looking behind me, the object of attention was my bag. I looked down and saw my wallet passing from one hand to another, snatched it out and hid it in my bag.

Will help you better understand people

The skill of marking objects of attention allows you to get more information about the interlocutor in a matter of seconds. When you bring it to automatism, you can understand the motives of people's actions and find the objects of attention of each participant in the conversation.

Over time, it will be very easy for you to understand what the interlocutor's thoughts are focused on. This is how people anticipate danger and predict actions. When you master this skill to perfection, it will seem to you that you can read other people's thoughts.