How to deal with bullying at work

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Record everything that happens and remember that you are not guilty of anything.

We are used to thinking that bullying is an exclusively child or adolescent problem. What happens at school, summer camp, or in extreme cases at the institute. And it certainly does not apply to adults, working, balanced people.

But this is not the case. In Russia, almost no one deals with this problem and, accordingly, does not keep statistics. But in the US, according to experts, 60 million people complain about bullying. And if at work you feel bad, and colleagues systematically spoil your mood or interfere with your career, you may also have faced bullying.

How to understand that you are being bullied and what it can lead to

Of course, workplace bullying is different from school bullying. Nobody will write "Vasya is a fool" on the board and will not steal your homework notebook or sports uniform. No one will pinch in the toilet or locker room, will not beat or openly humiliate. At least the chances of this happening are rather low.

But this does not mean that bullying at work is harmless. It's just that the aggressors use other techniques.

They can make caustic remarks or offensive jokes at you, defiantly ignore, misinform you so that you do not cope with the task and put yourself in an unfavorable light in front of your boss, harshly criticize, blame you for additional work, spread gossip, leave anonymous complaints, even steal or spoil your belongings and documents.

The reason for bullying can be anything: an appearance that is far from the standards of beauty, kindness and gentleness, impressive career success and the disposition of bosses. If you are a victim of bullying, you should not look for reasons in yourself. The aggressor is always to blame. Yes, he is often pushed to bullying by personal problems: stress and psychological trauma, self-doubt, past violence. But this does not absolve him of responsibility.

If you feel bad at work, and the prospect of interacting with colleagues causes fear, then in no case should you close your eyes to this.

Those who are bullied for a long time not only work less productively. They also put their health at risk: bullying leads to depression, anxiety disorder, and panic attacks. Bullying also increases the risk of heart disease and even type 2 diabetes.

What to do if you get bullied at work

Unfortunately, there are no legal mechanisms that could punish an offender for lying, malicious comments or sidelong glances. If the situation has gone very far (someone from your colleagues stole your things or even hit you), you can contact the police.

For cases when your rights are violated - they do not pay for overtime, do not give leave, try to unlawfully fire - there is a labor inspection. In other situations, you will have to act independently. Here's what you can do.

1. Write down everything that happened

This step may seem silly and petty. But you need to record everything that happens. If you have something to photograph or shoot on video (for example, spoiled things) - take out the camera.

Your records should reflect:

• What happened.
• When did it happen.
• Who else was there.
• What other people have said or done.

First, it will help you understand that you are not making up anything and that you are really being bullied and bullied. And they do it systematically. Second, you figure out exactly who is involved in bullying and who can be pulled over to your side.

And most importantly, the notes will come in handy during a conversation with the management, if you decide on it.

The streamlined “My appearance is often commented in an insulting way” sounds much less convincing than “On January 15, my colleague A, looking at my belly, asked if I was expecting twins. At the same time, colleagues B and C were present. B laughed, and C made a remark."

2. Get support

Perhaps the aggressor offends not only you, or among your colleagues there are those who do not approve of his behavior. Try to team up with them to tell the boss or put the abuser in his place. Seeing that you are not alone and that you have a "support group", the aggressor is likely to stop attacking.

3. Don't be silent

You need to show the abuser that you will not leave his behavior unnoticed and unpunished. State your position loudly (so that other colleagues can hear). Explain what you dislike and why. Ask them not to do this again. Speak calmly, clearly, in no case raise your voice, do not scandal, do not go into insults.

Focus on the actions of your opponent, not their personality.

For example, like this: “I don’t like that you several times a day, without an invitation, come up to my table, look over my shoulder and look at my monitor for a long time. I don't have to show you what I'm working on. If you are interested, you can ask me a question, and not violate my boundaries. I ask you not to do this anymore."

If after this the bullying does not stop, try to fight back the offender. But at the same time, again, observe the limits of decency: do not offend a person, do not become personal.

Yes, not everyone has the strength and courage for an open confrontation. When you're being attacked, coming up with a witty and biting response can be tricky. But you can do it differently. For example, asking the aggressor questions.

• Why are you saying this?
• Why did you do that?
• What did you mean by this?

Doing so will shift the focus of everyone's attention from yourself to the abuser and make them look ridiculous. He will either have to answer for his words and deeds, or retire.

4. Get help

Gather all the facts, enlist the support of colleagues and tell the management about what is happening. Toxic workplace environments reduce employee productivity and turnover. And this, in turn, can be quite expensive for the bosses. Therefore, it is in his interests to extinguish the conflict.

If your boss does not support you or is involved in bullying yourself, you should think about changing jobs. Yes, this is unfair. But your peace of mind and health are more important than principles. There is hardly anything good waiting for you in a company that turns a blind eye to employee bullying.