Table of contents:
- 1. Treat everyone with respect
- 2. Follow the platinum rule
- 3. Avoid small talk
- 4. Focus on people more than anything else
- 5. Don't go out of your way
- 6. Understand the difference between fact and opinion
- 7. Be real
- 8. Be honest
- 9. Smile
- 10. Try to show your best side (but don't overdo it)
- 11. Love life
2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44
Take on arms so that others are drawn to you.
There are people who always radiate energy and confidence, not paying attention to what they lack: money, beauty, connections. And even skeptics are surprised to discover that they have fallen under their spell.
Such charming personalities live life to the fullest. They are the ones who are asked for help, advice or companionship. Those who are not like them, remaining alone, ask themselves questions: what do they have that I do not have, what makes them so attractive?
What is their secret? In a sense of self-sufficiency that comes from within.
Charming people don't seek constant approval because they are confident enough. They have one more thing in common: every day they relentlessly follow the set goal and achieve it. As you can imagine, being charming isn't just luck. It's time to study the habits of charming people and use them to increase personal effectiveness.
1. Treat everyone with respect
It doesn't matter if they are negotiating with a large customer or ordering a drink from the waiter, charming people are sure to do it politely and respectfully. They understand that it doesn't matter how well they behave towards a particular person - a positive impression will diminish if they witness someone else being mistreated. Charming people treat others with respect because they are convinced that they are no better than others.
2. Follow the platinum rule
The golden rule - treat others the way you want to be treated - has a serious flaw: it comes from the assumption that all people want the same treatment. It ignores the fact that different people are motivated by different things. And if one loves public recognition, the other hates being in the spotlight.
The Platinum Rule: Treat others the way they want to be treated.
Charming people are well versed in human nature. They adjust their behavior and communication style in such a way that others would be comfortable with them.
3. Avoid small talk
There is no easier way to nullify the interest of others than to start a conversation with empty chatter. When you try to find an approach to a person and start an empty small talk, your interlocutor immediately switches his brain to autopilot and definitely does not feel real sympathy for you. Charming people, starting a conversation, try to find something deep even in small things. Their genuine interest in people helps them easily answer a good question and talk about what they think is important in different areas of life.
4. Focus on people more than anything else
Charming people have a genuine interest in those around them. As a result, they don't spend much time thinking about themselves. They don't bother with thoughts about whether they are good enough because they are too busy with other people. This is why it doesn't take much effort to charm them.
To make this habit work for you, put your smartphone aside and focus on the people around you. Pay attention to what and how they say, not how you respond. When people talk about themselves, ask leading questions to show your interest.
5. Don't go out of your way
In conversation, charming people do not seek to occupy all the time with stories about how smart and successful they are. And not because they have nothing to brag about. It does not even occur to them, because they understand how repulsive people who try to please everyone look.
6. Understand the difference between fact and opinion
Charming people handle controversial and sensitive topics with caution, adhering to certain frameworks. They do not hide their opinion, but emphasize that this is an opinion, and not the only true fact. Whether talking about global warming, politics, mandatory vaccinations, or GMOs, charming interlocutors realize that many smart people may have a different perspective on the issue.
7. Be real
Charming people are who they are. None of them have to break their brains to draw up a plan of action and predict what needs to be done next. They do what they do because they understand that no one likes fakes.
People are attracted to real individuals because they can be trusted.
It's easier to push someone away until you know who they really are and how they feel.
8. Be honest
Honest people attract us because they go their own way, simple and open. In theory, being honest is simple, but in reality, everything is much more complicated. Demonstrating honesty every day, charming people follow their convictions, try not to gossip and tell the truth, even the bitter one.
9. Smile
People are by nature a mirror of their interlocutors. If you want others to think you are charming, smile at them throughout the conversation, and they will unconsciously begin to feel positive emotions towards you.
10. Try to show your best side (but don't overdo it)
Charming people understand that making an effort to show their best is essentially the same as cleaning a house before friends arrive - it's not vanity, but a show of respect for others. But once having demonstrated their presentability, they stop remembering about it.
11. Love life
Charming people are positive and caring. They never get bored, because for them life is an amazing adventure, and they gladly accept people who want to be a part of it.
This does not mean that charming people have no problems. There are, and even big ones, but they perceive problems as temporary obstacles, and not as an inevitable evil. When something bad happens, charming people remind themselves that a bad day is just one day, and they don't give up hope that tomorrow, next week, next month, things will change for the better.
Charming people do not have a fairy godmother who hovers over them all the time. But they have the ability to improve themselves, coupled with several attractive qualities and habits that anyone can adopt.
They think more of others than themselves, and they make people feel attractive, respected, and interesting. Remember the main thing: the more focused you are on others, the more charming you look.
Recommended:
10 habits that make people around you think you're old-fashioned
He takes a taxi to the bakery and wears a fur hat. Figured out what else the old-fashioned person stands out for and what can be done about it
Gym won't help you lose weight if you make these mistakes
You bought a gym membership, but the fat doesn't even think to leave your sides. Life hacker finds out what mistakes prevent you from losing weight
10 Italian comedies that will not only make you laugh, but also move you to the core
"The Taming of the Shrew", "To hell with the horns", "Life is beautiful", "Bluff" and other Italian comedies that are worth watching for all fans of this genre
What to do if you forget a person's name right after you meet
It doesn't matter if the name of your new acquaintance flew out of my head after a minute of conversation. We will show you how to remember names or get out of an awkward situation
7 hunting movies that will cheer you up or make you think
In the article by Lifehacker, you will find both fictional stories and those based on real events. The heroes of these paintings are looking for themselves, learn a new culture and risk their lives