5 situations when a surprise is a bad idea

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Not everyone will share your love for serial gestures.

In Dahl's explanatory dictionary, the meaning of the word "surprise" is an unexpected, sudden joy. Modern dictionaries are no longer so optimistic and interpret it as a surprise, which can be both pleasant and unpleasant. And it is important not to forget about this.

There are situations where an excessive inclination to surprises can ruin everything.

1. Marriage proposal

Romance movies are full of stories of a guy suddenly arriving at an unsuspecting girl, falling to one knee and holding out a ring. The scenarios in this case may be different. In some films, the couple is almost unknown, in others they have not seen each other for a thousand years. Often the proposal is made in front of numerous witnesses. And the girl, of course, cries with joy and agrees.

If you have never discussed this issue with your potential bride, there is no guarantee that everything will be the same for you.

There can be hundreds of reasons for people not to want to get married right now, even if the relationship is serious and full of love. Sometimes these reasons look silly from the outside, but this does not mean that they are not important. The girl may be trite to be frightened, because she has not yet had time to think about this serious question. Finally, chances are that you are simply not the hero of her novel. Only now you can find out this in a much less traumatic way than having received a refusal.

My ex-boyfriend decided to surprise me when I announced that I was leaving him. He made an appointment, said that it was a matter of life and death, I came. A taxi came for us. I was surprised, but sat down. Where we were going, he did not say. I started to get nervous, but it was uncomfortable for me to swear in front of the taxi driver.

After some time, I realized that we were going to the airport. I asked directly, he said that I did not understand everything so well. We ended up getting off at the airport. And I have aerophobia. I started shouting that I was not going anywhere, that I was calling a taxi. And he got down on one knee and proposed to me. People walk around, I cry, I say that I don’t want to get married, I don’t need anything. And he stands, yelling. And I think: if only no one filmed this horror on the phone.

And the surprise was that he wanted to take me to a memorial place and propose there.

Perhaps you are lucky and the girl will say the long-awaited "yes". But there is still an option that she will give this consent under pressure. It is not always easy to answer sincerely when you find yourself in such a situation.

How to be

The elements of surprise in a marriage proposal are good. It is definitely worth making this day special and memorable. But before that, it would be nice to discuss whether your plans for future life coincide.

And if you really want melodramatic gestures, make sure everything is perfect. Pick a moment when the girl is smart and happy with herself.

2. Party-surprise

Another movie stamp. Everyone pretends to have forgotten about the hero's birthday. All day he walks sad, trying to hint at a holiday, is disappointed in friends and acquaintances. And then he comes home, turns on the light, and everyone jumps out from behind the chairs, screaming "Surprise!"

People and days (including birthdays) are different. Perhaps the person has not planned anything, is tired at work and dreams of a hot bath with a bottle of wine. Or wants to spend an evening together with a romantic partner. The hero of the occasion can look and feel disgusting. And he will have to have fun from under the stick.

Finally, it is not always easy to rejoice when you enter a dark and - as expected - empty room, and there someone suddenly yells. So it’s not far from a heart attack.

Separately, it should be noted that a surprise before which you make a person feel sad and suffer is always bad. No, the contrast will not add more joy. If you do not hate the recipient of the surprise, do not make him suffer, even if it is a matter of a few minutes.

How to be

Choose a person who will warn the birthday person that you are preparing a holiday for him. You don't have to go into details. Just let the hero of the celebration free up time and tune in to fun.

3. Guest visit

You decided to surprise your parents who live in another city, boyfriend or girlfriend, friends - it doesn't matter. You bought a ticket and look forward to how happy they will be when you ring the doorbell and they will open it. But they may easily not experience the emotions that you expect from them. And not because they don't love you enough. You just put people in an extreme situation and make them feel uncomfortable.

Perhaps the person had a difficult period and the floor of his house was littered with pizza boxes mixed with dust. He's fine, but he doesn't want to show it to anyone. Or your parents arranged a romantic evening with all the entourage and do not want you to be convinced with your own eyes that it was not a stork who brought you. Finally, many people like to prepare for the arrival of guests. Three course lunch, starched sheets, spring cleaning. Give them that opportunity.

How to be

Give advance notice of visits - the sooner the better. Is always. If you want surprises, bring a gift with you.

4. Return

So many anecdotes begin with the words "A husband / wife is returning from a business trip." And they kind of hint: it doesn't end well. The point is not at all about possible adultery. Your spouse is probably not doing anything criminal. For example, he sits at a computer in a T-shirt smeared with ketchup and grows vegetables on a virtual farm for the third day without stopping - simply because he can. But this does not mean that it is in this form that your partner wants to appear in front of you.

If the original purpose of your surprise is to please the person, he will be happy that you are back. And if you want to catch, finding out what he was really doing, then call things by their proper names: this is control and distrust, not a surprise.

How to be

As with guest visits, give advance notice.

5. An unnecessary gift, including an expensive one

It may be difficult to believe, but not everyone is ready to rejoice at gifts just because someone has spent a lot of money on them. Let's say you bought a new iPhone and you feel like a superhero. But a person can adore the old model from Apple or even prefer Android smartphones. And you don't seem to leave him a chance - you need to rejoice. In the end, he is disappointed that you wasted a lot of money, and sad that he cannot rejoice properly. And you are upset because you could not guess. Everything is bad, the holiday is ruined.

Irina Cried because of the surprise.

One day my husband decided to surprise me and give me tropical butterflies. Fortunately, they did not hatch on time and the plan failed. Then I had to work on the weekend, my husband was offended and told about his plan.

And there is a nuance: I am very (VERY!) Afraid of insects, especially large ones, including butterflies. He knew about it, but did not think about it. They also live for several days and then die, and I feel terribly sorry for them. In short, instead of being impressed, I sobbed for a week with resentment. Well at least it didn't work out and he still didn't bring butterflies.

How to be

Not surprisingly, but true: people love to receive as a gift exactly what they asked for. Research shows this. So a good surprise is to make a person's dream come true, not make it up for him.