How to learn to appreciate the things we have

Why do we want new things all the time?

People need to get something new all the time. This is well known to marketers. Limited clothing collections and improved gadgets may not be that different from the previous ones. But they are, you know, new.

The roots of this love of the unknown are in our brains. Any novelty provokes the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that is an important part of the reward system.

When we receive something new, be it an object or exciting information, we experience a pleasant hormonal surge.

However, everything becomes boring over time. We take possession of a thing, we get used to a new status or situation. Their subjective value decreases, and the need for new experiences arises.

Ancient people probably coped with this more successfully, because their lives were poorer in bread and circuses. But today there are so many temptations, opportunities and offers around that it is easy to fall into the "dopamine loop". This is a situation in which the production of a neurotransmitter does not come from the result, but from the very process of seeking pleasure, for example, during mindless Internet surfing or during impulsive purchases.

The same thing happens to humans as to the rats that pressed the button during the classic Positive reinforcement experiment produced by electrical stimulation of septal area and other regions of the rat brain by James Olds and Peter Milner. The button activated the reward system through an electrode in the animal's brain, and after a while the rat died of exhaustion, but in a fit of contentment.

To maintain awareness, nerves and money, it is important to distinguish pleasure from novelty and from the phenomenon or thing itself. What we have not yet consumed will inevitably remain around. However, if you pursue satisfaction through novelty, it will never come.

How to translate quantity into quality

Joshua Fields Milburn and Ryan Nicodemus, creators of the "more meaningful life with fewer things" site The Minimalists, say that even high-paying jobs, cars and constant purchases were not satisfying. Then the friends decided to regain control over life, giving up all that was superfluous. Now, having given away and sold almost all things, both finally feel quite harmonious and happy.

Even if this story of boring luxury seems to you "problems of the first world" or you are not ready to live with two or three changes of clothes, as the most radical minimalists do, healthy relationships with objects of possession will still not be superfluous. This is facilitated by the translation of quantity into quality.

Japanese cleaning expert Mari Kondo in Sparks of Joy. A simple happy life surrounded by your favorite things”advises to keep at home only what causes joy, and get rid of the rest. The remaining things will be the ones that you truly value and cherish.

A similar opinion is shared by the author of The Art of Living Simple, Dominique Loro:

We need to be aware of the boundaries of our own needs and know what we want from our life: to understand which book we would like to read, which movie to watch, which places are really pleasing. Giving up excess possessions means more fully appreciating what brings spiritual, emotional, and intellectual joy.

Dominique Loro screenwriter, book author

Moderation in desires and the ability to appreciate what is, are beneficial not only for personal mental health. These are part of a philosophy of conscious consumption that helps maintain a healthy environment while reducing overproduction.

In the past few years, people have started spending less on clothing and visiting large shopping malls less often. Today, more and more buyers around the world prefer to use a small amount of quality items instead of cluttering their space with an abundance of substandard items. Some people prefer local manufacturers who create clothes from natural fabrics, instead of sewing polyester clothes in factories in India. Others just invest in experience and entertainment.

How to love your property again

Concentrate on small

Choose the things that are most important to you, temporarily removing all unnecessary things. This makes it easier to figure out whether you really need it or not. The advice applies to household items, clothing, and intangibles. Maybe subscriptions to music in online services are not so necessary? This is an excuse to get vinyl records from the shelf or listen thoughtfully to music stored on your computer.

Play moving or travel

You may have noticed that traveling is much easier to handle things. After all, you take only what you really need and like, and choose your clothes so that all items are combined with each other. Why not use the same method all the time?

Imagine that you have come to your city on a business trip, and for a while use only things from the "suitcase". A more global method is to pack all things as if you are moving, and unpack them as needed. In both cases, what you will use as a result will be the most necessary.

Tell stories

Behind objects that are truly dear to us, and activities that evoke persistent positive emotions, there are usually some events or values. Let's say that this scarf was presented to you by a loved one, and the service evokes a feeling of home comfort, so you like to drink tea from it. When this narrative wears off and becomes irrelevant, emotional attachment diminishes. Things become just pieces of material, and favorite activities seem meaningless.

To prevent this from happening, periodically tell yourself and others about the meanings behind things and practices. This can be done in conversation with friends, in captions to photographs, or just in your head.

Stop comparing yourself to others

This will help separate personal needs from externally imposed ones. The actions of others are not a reason to do the same. Others are trapped in the same dopamine traps. Even if people you know are posting some great photos on social media, you cannot know if they are truly happy. You can only answer for yourself in such questions.

However, capturing your home, belongings and daily activities, and then posting it on the Web, is a great way to collect compliments and thereby add value to what you have. Although, of course, the most useful thing in such practice is to look at your life from a new perspective and understand that you, in general, are having a good time.

Outcome

To completely abandon everything new is not the best way, because it stops development. To avoid stagnation, something needs to be changed from time to time. However, the obsessive pursuit of new positive experiences reduces their severity.