2 words to start negotiations that will ensure success

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

A super simple trick will help build trust and create productive communication in different situations.

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Negotiation skills help you advance your career and achieve success. But it is useful not only for those who move in the business environment. Any conversation in which we agree on something is essentially a negotiation.

For example, when we ask our boss to let us work from home, we ask the landlord to lower the rent, or we try to reach a compromise with a loved one.

Columbia University Law School professor and negotiation coach Alexandra Carter, who worked at the UN, notes that most of us ask the wrong questions during negotiations.

They are of two types: closed and open. The former can only be answered with “yes” and “no” or with another short word (“okay”, “normal”, “against”). But the latter imply a detailed answer. They literally "open up" the conversation and help to achieve the desired result. According to Carter, the best open-ended question starts with a simple phrase:

"Tell me"

Alexandra Carter believes that these two words are the secret weapon of effective negotiations and the most effective way to start a conversation on any topic. They help build trusting relationships with the interlocutor, and this is the basis for successful negotiations. Moreover, “tell me” is the key to understanding the other person's point of view.

When the interlocutor feels that you are trying to understand him, and not just defend his own interests, he is ready to share his real opinion and be more open to your suggestions. This means that you will have a better chance of a successful outcome of the case.

These two words can be used in a wide variety of situations. For example:

• A photographer preparing to take a family portrait may start the photo session with the phrase "Tell me about your family" to better understand the relationship of relatives.
• The physical therapist can tell the patient "Tell me about yourself" to gain a better understanding of the patient and choose the right approach to treatment.
• One spouse may say to the other, “Tell me about your day,” to strengthen the relationship. Note that a very similar but closed question "How was your day?" makes you want to simply answer "OK".