5 facts about how our perception of ourselves works

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Find out why you suffer from social perfectionism, determine which hemisphere dominates you, and once again make sure that Instagram likes mean nothing.

Fact number 1. It is important for us to support the established social roles

What does it mean?

Despite the fact that the topics of equality, gender and freedom of expression have been raised every day lately, we still tend to take on too many social responsibilities. If your self-esteem depends on how well you support these real or imagined roles, then you are sick with social perfectionism.

What matters to us is what we think other people expect from us. This is often associated with traditional gender roles.

Thus, men struggle with expectations about the "earner", "warrior" and "head of the family." A woman, on the other hand, should be "caring", "a good mother" and "create a home."

The child believes that he should become the pride of his parents and achieve only ideal results. And we all fall into despair if we don't live up to these ideas.

What to do about it?

Every person is characterized by perfectionism. Everyone evaluates themselves in comparison with others and imposes on themselves the fetters of invented social roles. Our main task is not to get hung up on this.

Yes, these roles are helpful at the beginning of the journey, but later you can adapt them for yourself. Moreover, they will constantly change or develop. Remember, only making a conscious choice of your social role can make you happier.

Fact number 2. We exist in an inextricable relationship with the group

What does it mean?

Aristotle's statement "Man is a political animal" means that the needs to rule and obey are inherent in our psychology from birth.

We are pathologically preoccupied with hierarchy, status and reputation. These are the basic elements of the human "I" associated with the time of the tribal policy of hunting and gathering.

This can be confirmed by the example of chimpanzee families - 98% of our DNA is the same. “Weaker chimpanzees and younger chimpanzees regularly conspire with each other - thus, individuals with low status, working as a team, make serious and dangerous attempts to overthrow the leaders. They watch for political alliances in the tribe: if one chimpanzee protects another, he will wait for reciprocal service in subsequent conflicts. Does it resemble human behavior? Of course!

How to resist the group's rules?

Try not to make hasty decisions, take a short break. If others are trying to push you to a dubious act, stop and ask yourself a few simple questions: "Why am I doing this?", "What do I want to get as a result?", "What motivates me?"

This way you can track whether the group is manipulating you or whether it is entirely your action.

Fact number 3. We are led by the "interpreter" of the left hemisphere

What does it mean?

If the right hemisphere allows us to dream and fantasize, the left brain analyzes and voices these stories to our minds. Our brain acts as both the creator of the protagonist and the storyteller. It turns out that we perceive everything that happens as the "interpreter" of the left side of the brain explains it.

We all have an "interpreter" who comments on our life for us. But his explanations are just guesswork.

We constantly invent situations and memories. We do, feel, say something for a variety of subconscious reasons, while a special part of our brain constantly strives to create a believable story of what we want to do and why.

However, this voice does not have direct access to the real reasons for our actions. He does not know why we feel what we feel and do what we do. He makes everything up.

How to understand where your real feelings are, and where is your subconscious interpretation?

To reach out to the inner “I” is not an easy task. You can take a fun test to find out which hemisphere is dominant and track it further.

Write down the results of each step on a separate piece of paper.

• Interlace your fingers … Which of the thumbs is on top? If right, then write "L", if left, then write "P".
• Take aim … Select some distant object. Now extend one hand and aim so that your thumb is at the same level with it. If you extended your right hand - write "L", if left - "P".
• Close your eyes one at a time … When you close which eye does the object move more? If he bounces the same way or does not move at all, write "O". If the displacement is greater when closing the left eye, mark the letter "P", if the displacement is greater when closing the right eye - "L."
• Pose of Napoleon … Which hand goes on top when crossing over the chest? If it is the right hand, write "L", if the left hand - "P".
• Cross your legs … Again, which one is on top? If the right leg - write "L", if the left - "P".
• Wink … Which eye did you close first? If right - mark "L", if left - "P".
• Rotate around your own axis … Which way are you spinning? If counterclockwise - write "L", clockwise - "P".
• Divide a piece of paper in two … Which one turned out to be bigger? If the right part, write "L", if the left - "P", if the parts are the same, put "O".
• Triangles and squares … Draw three shapes with each hand on both sides of the sheet of paper. Which ones came out better? If left, then mark "P", if right, write "L".
• Strokes … With each hand, draw a series of vertical strokes. Which hand reproduced the most drawings? If the left one, write "P", if the right one - "L", if it is the same, write "O".
• Draw a circle … If drawn counterclockwise, mark "L", clockwise - "P".

We count the result

Subtract “P” from the number of “L”, divide by 10 and multiply by 100%.

• More than 30% - the left hemisphere completely dominates.
• 10-30% - the left hemisphere is slightly dominant.
• −10% - + 10% - slightly dominated by the right hemisphere.
• Less than -10% - the right hemisphere completely dominates.

Fact number 4. 90% of our personality is determined by culture

What does it mean?

When we are born, our brain evaluates the environment and concludes about who we should become. 70% of the development of neurons in a child occurs during the prenatal period, and in the first 15 months of life, the weight of the brain increases by more than 30%. The dramatic growth is due to the production of new bonds formed between cells.

By the age of two, the human brain will have generated more than 100 trillion connections, roughly double the number it would have in its entire adult life. And then culling begins: connections begin to die at a rate of up to 100 thousand per second. It is believed that in this way the brain adjusts to the surrounding world. What is left is us.

The influence of the environment is easy to trace when comparing Western (Aristotelian, focused on a person) and Eastern (Confucian, focusing on the world around) cultures.

In a classic experiment, subjects from Japan and the United States were asked to watch several 20-second animations about the underwater world. When survey participants were asked what they remembered the most, the Japanese began to describe the context ("a pond resembled a pond"), in contrast to American university students, who more often began by describing a colorful, fast and catchy fish in the foreground.

This confirms the fact that perception, memory and thought processes really depend on our cultural characteristics.

Is such a strong cultural influence a bad thing?

Unlikely. A person cannot exist outside of culture and cannot develop without its influence. These days, we are not limited only to the environment in which we were born. Thanks to the Internet, travel, books, films and much more, we have a unique opportunity to dive into other worlds, explore them from the inside.

By absorbing someone else's culture, we develop in a different way and broaden our horizons. This is how we find our way.

Fact # 5. Inevitably we compare ourselves to more successful people

What does it mean?

Based on the past fact, our becoming largely depends on who we should be in a certain environment. But this does not mean at all that individual men and women cannot influence us.

With the development of social media, there are too many role models around. Influencers create a picture of their "ideal" life that can easily be mistaken for reality. Because of this, we set unattainable goals and beat ourselves up for failing to achieve them.

The modern world increasingly provides us with the opportunity to feel like failures.

There is even such a phenomenon as "perfectionist demonstration" - this is the tendency to strive to deceive others and appear perfect. Errors and omissions are carefully hidden. This is especially common among young people who flaunt their lives on social networks.

How not to depend on the opinions of others and build your individuality?

In a rapidly changing world with an endless stream of information, it is important to understand that all people are different and they are all free to behave and build their lives the way they want. Focus on yourself and your best features. Can't highlight your merits? Ask friends to tell you how they see you.

Remember, the best qualities cannot always be conveyed through social media. Kindness, courage or responsiveness are not visible in Instagram photos, but they are appreciated by the people around them. Beautiful posts and pictures can be enticing, but often they are unreal. Remember how you applied filters or chose a good background - on the Internet we construct our own reality.

Think about how successful people came to their position. What was defining for them? Most likely, the answer lies not in a large number of likes, but in their belief in themselves, self-development and deeds.

Material prepared on the basis of “Selfie. Why we are fixated on ourselves and how it affects us.”Will Storr. How has 21st century narcissism changed our lives and what is it made of? Every day, streams of selfies and motivational posts pour on us from smartphone screens, and we ourselves strive to look perfect in the eyes of others. However, dissatisfaction with oneself, the eternal companion of perfectionism, can drive a person to madness and suicide.