5 fears that stop you from living

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

In the life of any person there is a place for fear. The ability to be afraid is one of those invaluable instincts thanks to which we survive in this harsh world. But sometimes fear begins to rule life, turning a person into his obedient slave. A life hacker will talk about the fears that hinder us and how to deal with them.

There are many painful phobias that can turn life into hell. We read about them and feel sorry for the imaginary poor fellow, not realizing that we ourselves have been living in captivity for a long time. Hidden fear is difficult to recognize, because it often appears in childhood and is perceived as an integral character trait. Such fear can spoil your life.

1. Fear of poverty

You seem to have settled well - the salary is above average, the credit burden is not burdensome. It would seem, live for your pleasure - eat sushi, drive to the seas. But you cannot afford it.

You buy only the most necessary clothes, you take a vacation once a year, you darn your socks, and you bring your meals with you in plastic containers. On the menu, the first thing you look at is the prices, not the ingredients; you try not to take drinks at all - it was not enough to pay for some kind of tea.

Favorite phrases: “I just don't need it”, “If I also had such a husband / brother / father”, “I'll buy it another time”, “Everything has risen in price”.

Problem

You are constantly in suspense, because you need to keep track of every ruble. As soon as you loosen your grip, you will certainly buy something expensive and unnecessary, and then scourge yourself for six months. Chances are great that you will never be able to enjoy life and will die under stress. If you were poor, your life would be much easier.

Solution

You didn't have to grow up as a beggar. The fear of becoming poor is inherited and is often found in people from wealthy families. A sober mind and logic will become a weapon in the fight against it.

Estimate your budget. Allocate a certain amount for basic expenses, adding to the housing and communal services, food and transport the item "Emergency Stock". Open a bank account and send this amount there once a month. Then life will become much easier for you.

Do not overdo it - there is no need to take half of the salary to the bank, five thousand rubles is enough. It is also better to distribute the remaining money - for leisure, personal care, shopping for the house. Otherwise, you run the risk of letting everything down, because in fact you are a money alcoholic in a string.

2. Fear of wealth, denial of money

You are not able to save up, the premium is immediately spent on an expensive item or gadget, and all the extra money you spend on momentary entertainment. If you have a lot of money, then you buy expensive toys - a robot vacuum cleaner, a fur boa, twenties shoes, a talking coffee maker. Just what you don’t have - you can even find a shower head with lighting.

You seem to be happy, but sometimes for some reason you suffer from remorse. They say about you: "His pockets are full of holes."

Favorite phrases: “Why deny yourself?”, “I can afford it”, “Let it be”, “We live once”.

Problem

Since childhood, you have been told that all the rich are thieves, bloodsuckers and sinners. Now you have grown up and money is weighing on you. The presence of money causes a lot of problems: you have to think about how to use it rationally, how not to lose it. Easier to spend and not suffer. Yes, you will never get rich at this rate.

Solution

There are many fears associated with money. The solution is similar for everyone - it is logical, rational thinking. Proceed in the same way as in the previous case - make a list of needs and see how much free money remains.

Go ahead and set some long-term goals for yourself (renovating an apartment, buying a car, or a house). To achieve them, open an account in the bank and put extra money there, leaving yourself as much as you need for a comfortable life without unnecessary things.

If you have a lot of money left, find a smart personal finance consultant and find out where to invest profitably. Train yourself to donate money to charity.

3. Fear of responsibility

People want something from you all the time, and it's annoying. You do not show enthusiasm, you do the work strictly according to the instructions in order to go home to watch the series as soon as possible.

You don't like organizing holidays. The idea that the New Year is coming is disconcerting. You would have achieved a lot, but circumstances got in the way.

Favorite phrases: “I did not promise anything”, “I don’t owe anything”, “I didn’t subscribe to it”, “Why me?”.

Problem

You present everything as if you are under pressure. In fact, you just don't want to decide anything. Crawling deeper into your shell, you make yourself and others unhappy. After all, they make decisions, and you blame them for mistakes. Working with you is awful, life is no better.

Solution

Most likely, in childhood, parents often blamed you for everything, and avoiding responsibility is a self-defense developed over the years. But if you don't start making decisions, you will never create a normal family, you will always be offended, you will not build a career, you will be pushed around forever. By old age, you will turn into a lonely sick grouch that everyone avoids.

So pull yourself together and do at least something without waiting for you to be kicked. Start small: organize a family holiday, offer co-workers help, go on a diet.

4. Fear of loneliness

You are a shirt-guy, the soul of the company, a socialite, a man-orchestra with a bunch of friends. You go to the store with a friend, spend evenings in the company, the phone constantly beeps from messages. You help everyone, and the schedule for meeting friends is so busy that you try to gather friends in groups.

There is no permanent partner yet, and you flirt a lot, creating a retinue of admirers, although you are not for a long time 19. You do everything to music.

Favorite phrases: “Of course I can”, “I have a bunch of plans”, “Do you want with me?”.

Problem

Alone with yourself you suffer, the silence is unbearable for you. You would rather go to the village to dig potatoes than lie around at home with a book, and spend Friday evening with the first person you meet, than go to bed early.

You are poorly trained, not focused, fickle, and have mood swings. You cannot build a personal life, are subject to addictions.

Solution

You may be just a friendly person, but if it is difficult for you to be alone with yourself, then you are really afraid of loneliness. Try to go shopping without satellites, spend a couple of hours a day at home in silence, reading, picking up a puzzle or model airplanes.

Make a list of people you know and try to pay attention only to those you really care about. So you get rid of unnecessary fuss and achieve personal growth.

5. Fear of not finding yourself

You have long understood that the main thing for a person is to realize his destiny. What you do all the time. Buying packs of literature on the search for your "I", meditate, practice uterine breathing and God knows what else.

Life is not going well yet, but only because you have not found the True Way. Sometimes you get discouraged in this world of creators and successful people, but the biography of Steve Jobs puts you on your feet.

Favorite phrases: "Everything is ahead", "I know myself", "Everyone can achieve anything", "We are the creators of our life."

Problem

You are always in a state of dissatisfaction. Finding the right partner is especially difficult because everyone has too many flaws. It always seems to you that you have not achieved anything, which only lowers your already low self-esteem. Chasing ghostly success, you push real life aside.

Solution

This fear can be considered a by-product of the emergence of psychoanalysis. In the next twenty years, it threatens to become the most destructive of all of these.

Not everyone is gifted to become great artists, poets and painters, and there is nothing wrong with that. Being a good friend, father, neighbor, partner is an equally important role that can make you much happier than millions of fans. Talk to your elderly relatives more - they know better than you what happiness is.

Remember that Steve Jobs became famous all over the world, but his subordinates hated him, and the disease killed him. Maybe you are not dreaming about that?