How to succeed while remaining a decent person

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-13 00:26

Six Rules for Success from Eric Barker, author of Barking on the Wrong Tree.

Rule 1. Choose the right pond

When I asked Bob Sutton, a graduate professor at Stanford Business School what the best advice he gives his students, he replied, “When you start working in a new place, take a good look at your future colleagues, as chances are good that you will become to be like them, but they are not like you. You cannot change them. If you do not like them, then you will not take root here."

An inappropriate work environment can change you for the worse and make you unhappy. Research shows dishonesty is contagious. Seeing that others are acting dishonestly, we also begin to break the rules.

Fortunately, the collective influence spreads both ways. When we see that others are behaving selflessly, then we also begin to act altruistically. And if you find yourself in a bad environment, unite with other good people.

Rule 2. Be the first to cooperate

When Harvard Business School professor Deepak Malhotra teaches students the art of negotiation, he first of all recommends arousing sympathy in the opponent, rather than being tough.

Also, a kind gesture - an offer of help - can play a key role in fostering a sense of mutual cooperation. This does not mean that you should give everyone you come across twenty. Services and courtesies can be quite small.

Eric Barker Quote from Barking at the Wrong Tree.

Pick up and send the gift basket to the new cellmate. When they start swinging knives in the prison yard, many more people will be covering your back.

We often forget that fairly simple steps (like taking 30 seconds to write an email to introduce one person to another) can be of immense benefit to someone (like a new job).

Rule 3. Remember: selflessness is not a sign of holiness, but stupidity

Trust in others is generally more effective. It is impossible to predict how successful the collaboration will be in any given case, but you will definitely win more often than you will lose. The results of the study of the effect of trust showed that the most successful people rate their trust in others by 8 points - not 10!

However, if we give too much, we start to burn out emotionally. Two hours of volunteering per week for others is enough to improve your sense of self. So you don’t need to blame yourself for not sacrificing yourself, but you don’t need to make excuses that you don’t have enough time.

Rule 4: Work hard, but be sure to get noticed

What can you learn from arrogant egoists without becoming like them? They are not shy about speeding up their progress. Egoists advertise themselves and negotiate favorable terms for themselves. They try to be visible. This can be done without becoming an unscrupulous impudent person. It will definitely be useful for you to flaunt yourself a little without losing your high moral qualities.

Let's dispense with hypocrisy and naivety. You really need to be visible, and bosses don't need to be liked. This is human nature.

Hard work doesn't pay off if people don't know who to reward for it.

Do you think someone would be able to successfully sell a great product without advertising and marketing specialists at all? Unlikely. Where is the balance?

Send your boss an email every Friday with a short list of your workweek accomplishments. Nothing special, just show him briefly how many useful things you have done. If you think that he himself sees everything, do not flatter yourself. He has a lot of his own affairs and problems. He will appreciate your action and will begin to associate you with some positive news (coming from you, of course). And when the time comes to ask for a raise (or update your resume), you just need to review those letters and remember why you are such a great employee.

Rule 5. Think about the future and get others to do the same

Try to do your best to open up perspectives. Include more milestones in the contract. Tell people how you can help them in the future. The more episodes of interaction or mutual friends, the higher the likelihood of repeated contacts, the more beneficial it is for your opponent to treat you well.

David Destenot Team Leader for the Study of Social Emotions at Northwestern University.

People always try to establish two facts: is it possible to trust a potential partner and what is the likelihood of meeting him again. The answers to these questions will largely determine what any of us wants to do at the moment.

Rule 6. Goodbye

Life is noisy, difficult, and we do not have complete and accurate information about other people and their motives. Sometimes the reluctance to cooperate arises from a banal misunderstanding.

Admit it, you can't always trust yourself. You say you're losing weight, and then someone brings donuts to work, and you send your diet to hell. Does this mean that you are forever guilty and will never be able to trust yourself again? Of course not!

It is very important to give a second chance sometimes. You are imperfect, other people are imperfect, we all sometimes get confused and do not what we were going to do.